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Sunday, August 19, 2007

Let Us Pray

I've always been a strong proponent of prayer, and recently I realized that maybe I should put that quality in myself to good use and make a profit from it. Specifically, I was thinking maybe I could write prayer intentions for Oregon Catholic Press. So here, I offer a practice set of intentions, as an "audition" of sorts. Maybe if they see it, and see how well I can fit in with their prayer style, they may hire me to be a part of their holy team.

For justice for the poor and that the rich may meet a just end, we pray to the Lord.

That all people of good will may become more politically involved and support the political perspective of OCP, we pray to the Lord.

That we may be delivered from bad priests and oppressive male hierarchy, we pray to the Lord.

For an increase in the size and shape of government, that we may attain the perfect utopian global society, we pray to the Lord.

That Christians may continue to make constant distinctions between the rich [spitting optional] and the poor, in order to make the poor feel unwelcome, so that we may then invite them to gather in our superior midst, we pray to the Lord.

That all government officials may come to realize that the only licit test of morality is in the complete acceptance and respect of all ways of life, we pray to the Lord.

That all people who disagree with the only licit test of morality realize that they are not due acceptance and respect, and that they come to see the error of their ways, we pray to the Lord.

For the protection of the ozone layer and the success of Albert Gore's writing career, we pray to the Lord.

That the Holy Spirit guide all people to a full acceptance of the OCP creed, we pray to the Lord.

For these and all of the politically appropriate intentions we hold in our hearts, we pray to the Lord.


What do you think? Do I get the job?