Confessions of a Hot Carmel Sundae

Movin' on up!

2009-01-11T16:01:00.000-08:00

I finally did it: I got my own domain. Please update your bookmarks and readers with my new location.

Heard around the house

2009-01-10T08:51:00.000-08:00

Hypertot: Daddy, Daddy! Curtain Climber's on the table!
Daddy: Ok, I'm coming.
Hypertot: No, it's not ok! Curtain Climber's on the table!

Ah, the little literalist.

Update on Curtain Climber

2009-01-06T13:55:00.001-08:00

He's doing well, healing remarkably quickly. He doesn't act like he's in pain except occasionally. Thank you all for the prayers. I know that they have helped a LOT.

Prayers for Curtain Climber

2009-01-03T19:12:00.000-08:00

Please pray for our Curtain Climber (aka Hot Stuff). He just spent the afternoon in the emergency room after grabbing a mug of hot cocoa and spilling it down his front. He's not in any danger, except for infection, but he has a lot of pain from second degree burns. He's currently sleeping through morphine, but he's going to have some suffering over the next few days. So please pray for him, that his pain won't be unbearable, and that he'll heal extra fast. This is no way for him to ring in his new year or approach his first birthday. Thanks.

Might I suggest a New Years resolution?

2008-12-31T12:12:00.000-08:00

If you do nothing else for yourself, make a commitment to work toward getting out of debt. If you don't know how to do it on your own, I highly recommend Dave Ramsey's help. We're just getting started with The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness, and for the first time in years, we have a degree of financial hope. I can't tell you the value of peace of mind, but even better is knowing that it isn't misplaced. We've already made progress, and we only just started. I highly recommend it.

Marry Well!

2008-12-30T11:08:00.000-08:00

Today marks the sixth anniversary of the smartest thing I've ever done. I hope you'll bear with me for a moment while I pat myself on the back. I married one of the kindest, smartest, funnest, manliest, and most fertile men I have ever met. And despite three well-rehearsed "You! You did this to me!"s, I have never, even for a two-second pause, regretted it.

So in the spirit of annual tradition, I would like to share a few words about how to marry well.

Choosing a partner:

Don't expect change. A husband or wife might change over time, but you can't expect it or force it. Don't marry anyone who isn't just what you want to be married to right now. A boyfriend or girlfriend who manipulates you is not suddenly going to become honest after the wedding date is chosen. A fiance who belittles you is not going to miraculously discover what a gem you are after rings are exchanged. Your loved one will have faults, yes. But you have to ask yourself if these are faults you are willing to live with for the rest of your life.
Don't approach marriage thinking "if it doesn't work out, we can always get divorced." People who think of divorce as an option are not likely to try very hard to make things work.
Don't marry someone who doesn't think you are the best thing that has ever happened to him or her. You deserve to be appreciated, and not just loved but cherished.
Do communicate. If at all possible, take a marriage prep class, or attend an engagement retreat like Engaged Encounter, or go for premarital couples counseling. There will be areas where you think or assume that you are on the same page and it turns out that you are not. Most of these are minor hurdles that can be worked out with just a little bit of communication; but if it turns out that one of them is a deal breaker for one or the other of you, better that you should find out now, not after you've established a life, started a joint checking account, and bought a car together.
Do make decisions together about finances and children. Before you marry. Even if your decision is not to decide yet, make sure you both agree on it.

Keeping a spouse:
I like to tell my sons that the best way to have a happy marriage is to treat their wives the way my husband treats me. For the benefit of those who don't know my Charming and Patient Husband, I will elaborate a bit here.

Accept your spouse. That doesn't merely mean pretend to tolerate. Really accept him or her for what he or she is. There is nothing in the world that will help a person blossom into the best they can be better than genuine, unconditional acceptance. It heals past hurts, it raises future hopes, and it makes life a lot smoother.
Appreciate your spouse. Don't merely overlook faults. Look, actively look, at qualities. And then express your appreciation verbally. Let him know that you are grateful for his hard work. Let her know how her smile warms you on a bad day.
Never let the kids get between you. Your kids will one day grow up and move out; hopefully your spouse will not. Don't fight in front of the kids. Don't contradict them publicly about child rearing. There will be times you disagree about how to handle something, but discussion should always be respectful of the other person, and private. The kids do not need to see places where they can drive wedges to get what they want. Nor do they need the insecurity of wondering if they will have both of you in their lives in the future.
Be the best person you know how to be, even in the areas of your life that don't affect your spouse. It inspires admiration. Don't just be generous with your spouse; also be generous with others. Smile warmly at the whole world, not just the person you love. It affects your entire outlook for the better, and it really can help your spouse to want to be a better person, too. I know that when I see my husband being kind to strangers, it reminds me to be kinder. When I see him being generous, it makes me feel proud of him. Don't deprive your love of the opportunity to be proud of you.
Don't be afraid to be weak. Yes, keep on trying; but don't think that means you have to hide your weakness and vulnerability. That's what a life partner is for! This is the one person who will back you up when your backbone doesn't feel very strong. Let your spouse know how much it means to you that he or she helps you through your moments of weakness.
Most of all, remember that love is not just a noun, it is also a verb. It isn't just a "thing" that you feel, it's an action that you do. And like every other action, it requires that you make a decision of the will. You are not a victim of love, you are an active participant. Keep on loving. Decide each and every day to give of yourself. Remember each and every day how much you love this person.

I pray that you will experience the kind of joy that I have in love.

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T10:50:00.000-08:00

If anyone wants to give me a Christmas present, please consider a donation to your church building fund, if you have one.

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace to men of good will!

Carmelite Final Promises

2008-12-18T10:03:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed I've been more absent than usual recently. I'm trying, in addition to holiday cleaning, to prepare spiritually for OCDS Final Promises. For those who don't know, OCDS refers to the Secular branch of the Order of Carmelites, Discalced. A secular, sometimes referred to as "Third Order," is a member of a religious order who is not a nun, friar, monk, sister, or brother. In other words, we are attached to our order by prayer, spirituality, study, work, and charism.

The Discalced branch of the Carmelites was founded by St. Teresa of Avila, with the help of St. John of the Cross, in response to a need for reform in the then lax attitude toward the Rule of Life of Carmelites. In a time of great religious upheaval, Teresa found herself heading a convent where benefits and privileges were granted based on family wealth and favoritism, and where the rules were practically ignored. One of the rules that she reinstituted was the traditional habit, which included sandals, not shoes. Her reform was originally known by many popular names, but the name "discalced," meaning shoeless, was the one that stuck. St. John headed the male reform, at St. Teresa's request.

Today, the original Carmelite order (OC) and the Discalced Carmelites (OCD) make up separate orders with separate lines of authority and slightly differing spirituality, but they share a history and charism, as well as maintaining mutual "authority" over the Brown Scapular. The Brown Scapular, the symbol of both Orders, represents a smaller version of the brown habit of Carmelites. Both Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross have been named Doctors of the Church, and recently so was St. Therese of Lisieux, another Carmelite saint.

My name in Carmel is Mary of the Feet of Jesus. Please pray for me as I prepare to make my promises permanent on Saturday.

Permanent Marker on Computer Monitor

2008-12-18T10:00:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you realize that a Monkeytot has written on your LCD (or other kind of) screen with permanent marker? You ask Artgal. And Artgal promptly tells you to use a dry erase marker to clean it. And it works.

One caution: use Heloise's advice, and wipe into the mark, not out from. If you wipe across your mark, it will smudge the dry erase ink and need more cleaning.

Happy Birthday, Joel

2008-11-30T16:15:00.000-08:00

My Charming and Patient Husband is now the same age as me for a few brief months. Why not head over and wish him a happy birthday?

A thought for today

2008-11-29T19:29:00.000-08:00

We hear the message all around us, almost constantly: be kind to yourself. Give to yourself. Love yourself. Above all, you are the master of your own fate.

But sometimes, the greatest blessings are surprises.
Sometimes, the happiest parts of life turn out to be not the things we plan for ourselves, but those that are given to us.
Sometimes, we don't pursue joy, but joy pursues us despite ourselves.

When life hands you the unexpected, instead of lamenting the plans it interferes with, take a moment to consider how very many of the greatest blessings in life are those that we didn't plan. God loves throwing a surprise party. When He throws one for you, be ready to show up.

Note to Hypertot

2008-11-24T14:27:00.000-08:00

I don't care how much you like or dislike bar soap. You can't wash your hands with toothpaste.

Phonics Resources

2008-11-24T11:36:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, we are teaching our four year old to read. Now, he's a very bright child, but he is also hyperactive, and sometimes has a hard time sitting still long enough to really learn. He also has an extremely literal language style, so sometimes we need to approach a subject from several perspectives to get its fullness across. After a lot of searching and experimenting, I'd like to share a few things that have really worked out well.

Starfall
It's a website loaded with games and music, and Hypertot loves it. It is his favorite thing to do. I mean that literally. They sing songs that teach short and long vowels. They lead children through the process of sounding out letters in stories phonetically. They organize by particular phonetic rules, so it can be done in logical groupings or in the order of your own phonics program. And it's free. I can't recommend Starfall enough.

Bob Books
This is a series of books that spend more time teaching by doing than instructing rules. Each book focuses on just a few letter sounds, and the books progress toward increasingly difficult phonetic concepts. The beauty of these books is that they give even the earliest reader the opportunity to read a real book, with just a few words on each page. And they do this not by having a limited vocabulary reader and memorizing words, but by using phonics progressively. The only downside is that the set comes in very small books.

Victory Drill Book
This book is not a phonics book, but can work well with a phonics program. It focuses on increasing fluency and speed, by having children read lists of phonetically related words without any other context. It might sound pointless, having lists of words without any story, pictures, or context; but actually the lack of context is the beauty of this program. It forces a child to read the words, not guess them. It also begins to teach them the concept of onsets and rimes (the beginning sounds and end chunks of like words), by presenting similar words together in a list. This is not a stand-alone program, but it can be very useful for building fluency, or for supplementing another program or collection of materials.

Reading Pathways
This I chose because it meets a very specific need for us. Hypertot was having a hard time making the transition from reading individual phonetic sounds to reading words. He would read every word as a collection of sounds, and by the time he had the word sounded out he couldn't remember what he'd already read. Reading Pathways actually works a child through the transition from sounding out letters to reading words phonetically. It brings a child to reading "whole words" without a whole language approach but rather a phonics approach. I have never seen any other product like it, but I can tell you that Hypertot showed a stunning and immediate improvement in his comprehension from the moment we began using this book.

Book Facts Meme

2008-11-23T18:24:00.000-08:00

The woman known to My Charming and Patient Husband and myself as Aunt Betsy, and to most of the Blogosphere as Ms. Kitty tagged us both with this one. As usual, nobody but nobody is faster to jump on a book subject than Joel ... I think he may be considering legally adding "Bookworm" as a second middle name.

So here's the lagging wife with hers, under the directions to list seven random or weird book facts about myself.

I prefer biographies to most other kinds of writing. That doesn't mean I don't like others, but I just have a rather morbid fascination with bios. I used to think it was because I felt guilty reading fiction, but I'm beginning to realize that it just seems so much more interesting knowing that what I'm reading is true... or at least perceived as true by the author. Autobiographies are especially fun, because you can psychoanalyze the author as you read, and nobody really cares if you're accurate about it or not.

Most books that I've actually finished started out on the back of the toilet. Once I'm about halfway through, I take it out of the bathroom to rush through the rest.

I've read Jane Eyre nine times. The first time, when I was in fifth grade, I got into the habit of lying at the foot of my bed after lights out so I could read by the light from the hallway. When I reached the end, I cried -- not because it was sad, but because it was finished.

I share a birthday with Charles Dickens and Laura Ingalls Wilder, a fact that has always pleased me, since they are two of my favorites. (I also share with Saint Thomas More, but I haven't read any of his writing yet.)

I collect composition books. I really can't say exactly why, but I just love them. When I buy or open a new one, it feels like pure possibility. I love the ones with unique covers, and I enjoy decorating the regular marbled ones.

I love used books, because knowing that a book has been previously enjoyed seems like an "added value."

My favorite Bible translation is RSV, partly because it is beautiful, and partly because it is recognized by both Catholics and Protestants. I also rarely admit to liking the NAB, which Joel refers to as "Nice And Bland." But it's easy to read and find things in, and sometimes easy is good.

And the final instruction is 7 tags:
Christine at Ramblings of a Catholic Soccer Mom
Laura at Catholic Teacher Musings
Cassie at A Blessed Life
Deanna at Deanna's Corner
Barb at SFO Mom
Sharon at The Bird's Nest
Stacey at Housewife in Flip Flops

Heard around the house

2008-11-23T18:11:00.000-08:00

Artgal: "Nothing against Depp as an actor, but he needs to stop enabling Tim Burton."

Note to Monkeytot

2008-11-22T21:58:00.001-08:00

Remember when I said you couldn't put a bandage in your nose? I'm sorry, but you can't put one in your mouth, either. It just won't work.

Healthier Coffee

2008-11-19T10:47:00.000-08:00

If you want a quick and easy way to less guilty coffee, consider switching from half and half to evaporated milk. It contains about the same number of calories, but is much lower in fat. You will be surprised at how creamy it is, and it is more nutritious. Plus, for those on a budget, it costs less than half as much.

Note to Monkeytot

2008-11-15T15:45:00.000-08:00

No, you can't put a bandage in your nose, even if it is bleeding.

Why I'm Pro-Life

2008-11-15T08:43:00.001-08:00

I could post on this subject a million times and have something different to say each time. Today, I want to give the un-reasons. The I'm not pro-life becauses.

I'm not pro-life because I'm conservative. Yes, I am more conservative than liberal, but I am not a "my side at all costs" conservative. I'm liberal on several issues, at least at heart. I oppose the death penalty. I believe that society must help those who need help (though I frequently disagree with modern liberal thinking about how that help should occur, I tend also to disagree with conservatives on the subject). I am not afraid to disagree with the "conservative" canon when I think it's wrong.
I'm not pro-life because I'm a Republican. In fact, I'm only marginally a Republican in many ways, because I believe that conscience must always come before party affiliation. This ties in with the previous comment, because I believe that conscience must always come before political persuasion of the non-party type, also.
I'm not pro-life because I hate women. I love women, and I love being a woman. In fact, I am pro-life because I'm sick of the bum deal that men are giving women in abortion. Abortionists (mostly men) are making a pretty penny off of women by selling their wares, and pushing, and hawking, and instructing, and indoctrinating, and luring. I've seen women (girls) forced into abortion clinics to have abortions against their will. I've known women who were in situations where someone tried to force them to have abortions against their wills. I know three such women very closely.
Which brings me to my next not. I'm not pro-life because I'm anti-choice. I have seen too many instances where "pro-choice" politics and individuals have fought against individual and group choice. When "pro-choice" organizations like Planned Parenthood fight against informed consent (the right to a sonogram and accurate pregnancy information before making a choice about abortion, for example) it tells me that they are not concerned with women's choice at all, but only with the bottom line.
I'm not pro-life because I'm judgmental. I want people to stop judging girls and women for being pregnant. First of all, I am, and you are, a sinner and unworthy to cast the first stone. Second, premarital sex may be a sin, but babies are never a sin. Let me reiterate that: Babies are NEVER a sin. Got that?
I'm not pro-life because I'm mean. I think it's mean to pressure women into a painful and psychologically damaging procedure. I think it's mean to dismember a human being because he or she is an inconvenience. I think it is mean to treat any human individual as a political issue or tool, rather than as a person. I believe that whenever possible, we as a society should be compassionate. And killing people is not compassionate.
I'm not pro-life because I'm Catholic. Yes, my faith requires me to uphold the value of human life. But frankly, I would be pro-life even if I were an atheist, because every human being has inherent value and I do not believe that one has more value than another, just because of age. And I do not think you have to be a Christian to believe in human worth.
I'm not pro-life because I "just don't understand." Yes, I do understand that for many women carrying a child and having the pregnancy become public knowledge can be traumatic and even have devastating repurcussions. Yes, I do understand financial difficulty. (Ask anyone who knows me; boy, oh boy do I understand that one.) Yes, I do understand fear, and having one's life plans interrupted, and having to make sacrifices. I've been through all of those things. Yes, even in conjunction with some of my own pregnancies. But having been through those difficulties, I've also learned that there is light at the end of the tunnel, even when we are too far away from it to see it yet. I've learned that every single time I've made a sacrifice because it was the right thing to do, blessing has resulted. Long term, permanent, beautiful, life-altering blessing. Blessing of a sort that we cannot create for ourselves.

I know all the stereotypes about why people are pro-life. I've even known a few (very few) people who fit those stereotypes. But most of the people I know who oppose abortion do so for very similar reasons to my own.

My friends, and even those who might think themselves my enemies, if you are pro-choice, I beg you to spend half an hour today considering the other side. Nobody but you has to hear your thought processes. Nobody will judge you for it, and nobody will force you to change your views. But please, in the name of kindness, just spend half an hour thinking about it. Then, if you remain unchanged on the subject, you can return to your regularly scheduled thoughts. And may God bless you.

Heard around the house

2008-11-10T20:15:00.001-08:00

Me: Just think, if you were related to Esmeralda, you'd have to have Esmeralda at every family dinner.

Artgal: But if you were related to Aunt Clara, you'd have to have Henry the Eighth at every family dinner.

Heard around the house

2008-11-06T10:38:00.000-08:00

Artgal: "I hate it when I get cinnamon down my shirt."
me: "Yeah, I always hate getting cinnamon down my shirt."
Covarr: "Is this the voice of experience, or is this Instructables again?"

Another use for old socks

2008-11-05T10:02:00.000-08:00

I just can't bring myself to throw away old socks. I'm sure that the moment the trash collector comes, the partner will turn up, even though I haven't been able to wear the pair for two years because I'm not sure there is a partner.

Enter the pony tail holder. I keep running out of them. They break or get lost. And I do not wish to damage my hair with old fashioned rubber bands. If I cut the cuffs off my old socks, not only do I feel like I'm not wasting the sock, but I restock my pony tail holders for free, and with cute colors to boot. And they are much gentler than all rubber bands and many store-bought scrunchies.

Note to Monkeytot

2008-11-04T08:03:00.000-08:00

While I appreciate your generosity with the baby, I wish you would stop feeding him. Snickers bars and horseradish stroganoff are really not ideal baby foods.

Whiteboard Idea

2008-10-31T12:29:00.000-07:00

I get these bees in my bonnet. When we're lucky, they're inexpensive or they pass. Today, it's a moneysaving idea, and I'm looking forward to implementing it as soon as I get a chance to get out of the house. It's a personal whiteboard for each kid old enough to read.

If you homeschool, you probably do whiteboards, too. Or if you have a big family, with kids who keep different schedules. Or if you're looking for the perfect housekeeping "method" or chore chart. Today's idea is simple. I go to Dollar Tree and buy some inexpensive frames that are hangable. If they don't have hangable ones, I'll buy a picture hanging kit there, too. We're looking at maybe three bucks. I slip a thick piece of white paper or card stock into each one, and I hang them. Instapresto, white boards. They won't stain like the ever popular tileboard (the stuff they make shower walls from) or those shiny cardboard signs. They can be washed, and it won't ruin them. And they already come with a frame and ready to hang. One for each person, so I can write down chores when I think of them, or take phone notes, or whatever is needed. And they'll be a whole lot more attractive than most commercial whiteboards that cost more. Dollar Tree usually has whiteboard markers, too.

Feel free to copy the idea or pass it on.

Everydae is Sundae

2008-10-31T12:23:00.001-07:00

Or it will be, soon. My apologies to the two or three readers who have glanced at both blogs, but I'm about to begin the process of shutting down Carmel Everydae and moving its contents gradually over here. The reason? I didn't have the energy to keep up two blogs and actually try to get readers. And if nobody is reading, it would be easier to use a diary. I never really did anything to announce the other blog, so few people wandered over there. So if you are one of the few who was curious enough to see what I was posting over there (mostly money savers, helpful hints, and other Heloisey type things, I apologize for reposting here what you've read there. But the plus side is that it will increase the frequency of posting here.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled laundry.

Define "Slow Learner."

2008-10-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

Is it a person who has multiple children?

Only if the children were a mistake. Ergo, no.

Maybe the slow learner is the one who has a blessing... or is fortunate enough to have multiple blessings and still thinks only a slow learner would want to be so blessed.

Oooh, people who assume that children are a mistake really steam my Irish potatoes.

Note to Monkeytot

2008-10-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

I don't think you'll have much success slicing the cheddar cheese with a plastic wrench. Sorry. And no, you may not grab a sharp knife to do it with instead. And NO, the hunk is not for biting directly into.

Knife Holder

2008-10-18T20:15:00.000-07:00

I really like the idea behind this Schaschlik knife holder.

I'd never seen it before tonight, but as soon as I saw it, I could immediately see the usefulness, as well as the beauty. I do not, however, have any desire whatsoever to pay $125 for a knife block, no matter how much I like it.

Over at ReadyMade, they offer an alternative. It is homemade, and really very easy. But to be honest, I don't care for the look of it. I know a 2-liter bottle when I see one, and I also know that they have three knobs on the bottom that make them less than stable for a long-term item.

I've been thinking about how I can reproduce the item for free or very cheap. (Let's face it, the drawer my knives are currently in will be reachable by Curtain Climber very soon after he learns how to walk.) My thought is that it must be a wooden container, because I want it to be stable and less breakable than plastic. I also think wood is much more attractive, as evidenced by the two pictures above. My next thought is that this is really cheap to make, even with a wooden container. I happen to have a bread box that I think will work very well; but if I didn't, a trip to Goodwill could easily provide me with some surprise container that would make my knife holder a unique piece.

I'm hoping to get around to making this; I'll ask my daughter to take a picture I can share. If anyone reading this happens to like the idea and make one, please share a picture of your final piece. I just love the idea that by using a "vintage" container, each piece will come out different. I would love to post multiple pictures.

Catechism Highlights

2008-10-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

Some teaching worth reflecting upon as those of us in the United States prepare to vote:

1867 The catechetical tradition also recalls that there are "sins that cry to heaven": the blood of Abel,[139] the sin of the Sodomites,[140] the cry of the people oppressed in Egypt,[141] the cry of the foreigner, the widow, and the orphan,[142] injustice to the wage earner.[143]
1868 Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them:
- by participating directly and voluntarily in them;
- by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;
- by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so;
- by protecting evil-doers.

Offshore Oil

2008-09-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

A word of explanation about my view. Yes, I want to see the development of alternative energy sources. I dearly want to see solar, electric, hybrid, and other sources explored. But those take time; and Nancy Pelosi has stated that she intends to keep prices of oil high deliberately in order to force the development of other energy sources. These measures cannot work to make any real difference, though, because they only harm the poor. The wealthy can afford gas. The middle and low income cannot, and it is they whose house payments depend on being able to afford the tank of gas to drive to work. These punitive methods espoused by Pelosi and her supporters only harm the poor, who are having the hardest time already in this difficult economy. It is rarely the poor who make policy, however. Pelosi herself can undoubtedly afford an alternative energy car. But can those who sell her groceries?

The Democratic party used to stand for compassion. I don't think it does anymore.

Update on Oldest Daughter

2008-09-18T10:45:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry I didn't update sooner, but I figured those who really wanted to know either had already been informed (family) or had read the news on the blog of my Charming and Patient Husband. But for anyone who may have been missed by these two methods, I wanted to let you know that Firstborn Grandchild was born mid-afternoon and in good health, by emergency c-section. We haven't been able to see them yet, but they are in our prayers and hearts, and we can't wait to meet him.

Thank you to all who prayed or sent good wishes, and may God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Baby abundantly with joy, good fortune, and the meeting of every need.

Prayers and news

2008-09-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

Just a quick prayer request for Oldest Daughter. Tomorrow she's having labor induced. Please pray that everything goes well, and that it's not too difficult. They're also moving household, so please pray that the baby's dad is able to be there when she gives birth.

Since the MSM only finds it funny when conservatives say things like this...

2008-09-07T16:49:00.000-07:00

we're left to spread it around ourselves.

Please share this!

Before You Vote...

2008-09-06T07:53:00.000-07:00

... some things you ought to know about Sarah Palin here.

I'll be waiting to hear apologies to the Palins.

2008-09-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

I have a feeling I'll be waiting a long time. Even people who did not believe the rumors were very, very quick to spread them just the same. These same people often people who would call it "mean," "uncharitable," or "immature" if similar rumors were spread about a Democrat. Now it's been announced that Bristol Palin is 5 months pregnant, which of course makes it virtually impossible for her to be the mother of her 4 month old sibling.

The evidence was overwhelmingly against the rumors: legal documents, including birth certificates. Announcements of Sarah Palin's pregnancy, the fact that the baby has Down Syndrome, which is much, much more likely in one's 40's than in one's teens. The only evidence I've seen to the contrary is photos that show Sarah covered with bulky clothing, and the comment that no 44 year old with grown children would get pregnant. All of the speculation was spurious, yet those who knew it still spread the rumors.

Now that the rumors are known to be false, I don't really anticipate any apologies from those mean-spirited people who spread them. I hope they prove me wrong.

Note to Monkeytot

2008-08-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

I know the layered look is in, but normally when someone says "change clothes," they mean to take off the dirty clothes before putting on the fresh ones. Sorry if I was unclear about that.

Why Politics Makes Me Hurt

2008-08-24T18:23:00.000-07:00

Many people today put their political labels on such a pedestal that even the "compassionate" learn to harden themselves and even the logical learn not to think for themselves. It doesn't matter whether you are conservative or liberal, Republican or Democrat, if you let your political persuasion decide your views for you, then you have lost sight of your humanness, at least just a little bit.

Let me give two examples: abortion and the poor.

First, let's examine poverty issues. While I do not think either of the major parties has come up with adequate ideas for how to help the poor, I think the Republican party often forgets to be compassionate. Not having a solution is quite different from not giving a damn because you think they somehow deserve it. And anyone who doesn't want the government to be part of the solution had better be doing something on a private citizen level to help, or he or she is a hypocrite of the most selfish kind.

Now what about abortion? The Democratic party makes such a dogma of it that its members frequently feel that being pro-choice is the litmus test for being a good liberal. Let's put that litmus test to the test. Again, while I do not think either of the major parties has come up with adequate ideas for how to ensure women's full rights, I think the Democratic party has forgotten the very concept of compassion in naming the right to kill a positive step. The Democratic nominee for president has gone so far as to put himself on record -- by legal vote -- as opposing the right of a born baby to remain alive. Even if you believe that a person does not gain legal personhood until birth, and that until then the baby is merely part of the mother's body, the mother is free to walk away once that baby is outside her body; how is killing him after the fact going to affect her right not to be pregnant? How does the death of a born child help the unpregnant birth mother?

I know that few Republicans are going to read this post and say "Oh, man! Now I realize that I can't stay Republican!" And Democrats are unlikely to say "Now I see that the Democratic party doesn't represent my perspective after all!" I am not asking you to change your affiliation, or your self-image as a liberal or a conservative. But I am asking you to take a moment and ask yourself if the things you support are compassionate to all people involved. Nobody can hear your thoughts; you do not have to feel disloyal for asking the question. It is all right to ask; thinking people do stop and consider sometimes.

If you are to be truly human, ask yourself hard questions. Put aside the rhetoric of your people, no matter which "side" they are on, and just face the questions as though you were looking at them for the first time. Then ask yourself "What can I do to help my brothers and sisters to work toward a kinder world, even in the places where compassion and rhetoric disagree?"

Note to Chase:

2008-08-24T18:05:00.001-07:00

You say "I'll call back when you're in a better mood."
I say if you call 51 times in a single day, I guarantee I will not ever be in a better mood.

Note to readers:
If you are smart, don't ever, ever, ever get a Chase credit card.

Arte y Pico

2008-08-21T16:19:00.000-07:00

I don't see it, I'll start by saying that; but it's awfully flattering. Sharon at The Bird's Nest awarded me with the Arte y Pico award. Flattering, especially, because I am so inspired by her posts so frequently. (She probably doesn't realize this, because more often than not I have my hands full of baby when I hit the blogosphere, so I don't comment much.) All I can say is thank you!

Here's how it works:
1. Choose 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award based on creativity, design, interesting material, and overall contribution to the blogger community, regardless of the language.

2. Post the name of the author and a link to his or her blog by so everyone can view it

3. Each award-winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.

4. The award-winner and the presenter should post the link of the “Arte y pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.

5. Please post these rules.

Now the fun part... passing the award on:
Jeff at The Curt Jester
Christine at Ramblings of a Catholic Soccer Mom
Waiter at Waiter rant
Jennifer at Conversion Diary (formerly Et Tu?)
Julie at Happy Catholic

Note to Hypertot

2008-08-17T12:30:00.000-07:00

That's not a wrist brace. No, no, don't put it back in the bathroom cupboard where you found it; just go ahead and throw it away.

Balderdash!

2008-08-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

And now, a game break.

If you know the answer, please just raise your hand and say "I know it" but don't give away the answer.

For the rest of you, guess or make it up. But no Googling.

What is an ebelskiver?

Simple Woman Daybook

2008-08-15T17:30:00.000-07:00

For August 15, 2008

I've seen these several places, and decided to look into it. Here's where it began, and I rather like the idea. Please feel free, readers, to join in.

Outside My Window...
A riot of pumpkin plants. I didn't actually plant them, but they grew from compost; now we have most of our front lawn covered with pumpkin plant and pumpkins. The biggest is the size of a small watermelon already. I can't wait to see what our front yard will look like by October!

I am thinking...
about family members not here. I miss our oldest, and I am praying that she has a lot of joy and hope in her life.

I am thankful for...
That my mom and sister were able to come for Peter's baptism this weekend. Even if it was only, really, for a day. One day is better than no days.

From the kitchen...
Today my Charming and Patient Husband is cooking... taco salad. My latest kitchen feat was chicken and dumplings. I just learned to make them this month, and they've been a big hit.

I am wearing...
blue athletic/stretch shorts and a short sleeved shirt with a busy brown and green flower design. No shoes, hair tied back. Still too hot.

I am creating...
Laundry soap. Ok, not the most creative thing in the world, but it makes me feel empowered to be able to make something practical and useful for myself at a savings. Plus, it has little pink flecks and smells like lemons.

I am going...
to the fair tomorrow. It's the last day, and we weren't able to go last year. There is something about a small town county fair that makes you feel so connected to the community. And every year I swear to myself that next year I'll make Grandpa's Boterkoek for the ethnic foods category.

I am reading...
From Housewife to Heretic by Sonia Johnson. It's about a Mormon woman who was excommunicated for feminist activities in the 70's. She's a very good writer, and although I disagree with much of what she says, the presents herself so well that I am coming at least to understand better the "other side" of views that I disagree with.

I am hoping...
to get the house clean. Maybe it's more of a wish than a hope. Maybe it's science fiction. I'm not sure. But I would love, love, love, not to have to worry about what Peter might pick up and put in his mouth.

I am hearing...
My first semi-silence for most of the day. The kids moved my daughter's stereo into the family room to listen to MP3s through real speakers. Loudly. Mostly it's video game remixes, from Mario and Zelda games, at the moment. But I'm in my room and can't hear much beyond muted voices through the wall, and the computer fan.

Around the house...
there's a sense of lethargy that seems to accompany hot summer days. Our air conditioning has its limits, and with this many people in one house it does get rather humid. So the activity gradually slows down, until morning brings cool breezes through windows.

One of my favorite things...
Raindrops on roses, ... oops. I mean, quality musicals. I do love The Sound of Music. Also, Brigadoon, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I'm sure I'm leaving out a few.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
I haven't done much planning for next week, but with the summer running out I really think we should try to make it to the pool at least one more time. Or maybe I could get the nerve to go there alone and swim some laps. I'm sure the week will include trying to tackle the mountain of laundry waiting to be put away, and I should get in some lesson planning, with school coming back so soon.

Occam's Razor Meets iTunes

2008-08-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

I've had these ridiculous intermittent problems trying to burn CDs from iTunes. I had entirely different issues with other software, so I really wanted to get iTunes working correctly; but every time I tried to burn a CD, I got this message:

The attempt to burn a disc failed. An unknown error occurred (4280)

I went a long time without bothering to try to burn a CD, because it got so frustrating; but finally, my desire for a longer playlist overrode my frustration, and I sat down determined to find the problem and make every possible effort to fix it. After more attempts in the past than I can remember, I practically stumbled over what appears to be the solution.

I went to the help menu and choose diagnostics. From there, I chose CD diagnostics. I ran it, and read the resulting text. One little thing caught my eye: it only listed four burn speeds that my burner is set to burn. I've heard of trying to burn too fast, but evidently I was trying to burn too slow (in an attempt to get a burn that my boombox could read). I found the lowest speed that my burner can burn that iTunes also has a setting for, and selected that speed. Now everything is working.

Sometimes the simplest solution really is the best one.

Daily Bread

2008-08-02T21:21:00.000-07:00

A thought:
How often do I say "Give us this day our daily bread"?
How often do I go to daily Mass and receive Communion?

Hm. Maybe I need to work on that.

Note to Hypertot

2008-07-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

Convention holds that the "magic word" is please, not abracadabra. Really.

Says my daughter:

2008-07-15T18:39:00.000-07:00

The pro-abortion people say that denying abortion makes women slaves to their uterus; but abortion makes them slaves to their vaginas.

There's nothing I can add.

Two Scenes

2008-07-10T07:52:00.001-07:00

Picture, if you will, two scenes.

In the first, Jesus is invited to the home of a Pharisee, where a notorious sinner cries on his feet in repentence, wipes them with her hair, and anoints them with oil. The Pharisee says to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, that she is a sinner."

In the second, a worshiper is at Mass and notices that the young woman in front of her is wearing skimpy clothing. Snide comments cross her mind, and she wonders why the priest doesn't do something about the way people dress for Mass.

In the first scene, I bet most people see the sinner as representing us. We are sinners, we can't deny it; and we want to repent as wholeheartedly as this woman. We love Jesus, and we know that the Pharisee is wrong to judge Jesus for loving this sinner.

But if you see yourself as the worshiper in the second scene then maybe, like me, you've been casting yourself as the wrong character in the first scene.

Here's a Campaign Promise I Can Believe

2008-07-09T11:57:00.000-07:00

Obama promises not to be moderate or act on the needs of the majority of the country.

Detachment Parenting

2008-07-05T17:40:00.000-07:00

I have a twelve-year-old daughter who is a firm believer in Attachment Parenting. She reserves the right to hold the household baby at any time that a) she wants to, or b) there is something else I want her to do. If neither of those circumstances exists, it is her responsibility to make absolutely sure that I am holding him. Especially if I'm eating, typing, or using the bathroom.

Attachment Parenting, you see, is a parenting philosophy based on the concept that a baby must be held or cuddled at all times, preferably with expensive devices. The most important of these devices is called a Sling. It is a piece of fabric that can be very attractive and/or cute, which holds the baby on the mother (this is called "Baby Wearing") so that the mother can cuddle the child when she is not in the mood for skin or eye contact. The second part of this parenting method is what occurs during sleep time, called Co-Sleeping. This involves having the baby act as a method of birth control, sleeping between Mommy and Daddy, so that Mommy does not have to wake up or give the child any conscious attention while nourishing the baby during the night. For parents who have what is known as Lactational Amenorrhea (the cessation of fertility that some breastfeeding mothers experience), this birth control is not necessary. In this case, an optional device may be used, a special cradle that attaches to the side of the bed for Co-Sleeping, so that baby may be considered to be in the same bed, without lying between his parents, and without suffering the indignity of being in a cradle separated from the adult bed by two inches.

Despite my daughter's strong feelings on the subject, I do not feel I can live up to the ideals of Attachment Parenting. For one thing, I only own one sling. Although I very much enjoy using it for outings, I don't get out much, and frankly I find it easier to hold my little son in my arms. I worry a little that I'm doing him psychological damage by allowing him so much contact without the aid of the device, but the truth is I'm behind on laundry, and I can't really afford a second sling. Besides, despite the distance it puts between our bodies, we just enjoy playing "Super Baby" too much to stop.

As for Co-Sleeping, a third person would never fit on our full-size mattress, and I have a perfectly good handmade wooden cradle right beside my side of the bed. I just can't bring myself to toss it out.

Oh, there are other things, too. Like the fact that my husband likes holding the baby also, and I have this pernicious idea that it might be good for both of them to form a relationship; or the fact that I have a preschooler and a toddler who also want Mommy time. Or the niggling worry at the back of my mind that maybe, just maybe, love and good instincts might do more good than a book or a method.

So here I am, feeling guilty because so many people have said that Attachment Parenting is the most loving, best, most psychologically uplifting method of baby rearing, and I just can't bring myself to do it. I can't seem to convince myself that the quality of parenting depends on what devices you use. And most of all, I can't seem to accept the idea that I have to be the best, or that I have to have the approval of a group of people or a book, to be a good and loving parent.

I finally came up with something that alleviates my worry about inferior upbringing: just find a new method... or in the absence of one that fits us, make one up! Thus was born Detachment Parenting. The idea behind this method is that many parents have to make their methods of parenting fit their lives rather than a book, and that Nature did a pretty good job teaching most of us how to love our little ones. It is based on the rebellious notion that my skin is just as cozy as a sling, and that I may as well wake up when I feed the baby in the middle of the night. It centers on the notion that when a book supplants common sense, whether the book demands Baby Wearing and Co-Sleeping, or on the other end of the spectrum, Feeding Schedules and Discipline, the middle ground might just give a baby what he needs, and give the rest of the family what they need, too. It doesn't give the same level of confidence that knowing you've followed all the rules of your chosen method gives; but it gives parents the chance to use their own minds and hearts in figuring out how to meet the individual needs of real people. And in the final analysis, babies aren't theories or methods... they really are people.

Maybe I'm a hypocrite.

2008-07-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

It's a holiday weekend, and you know what that means: Coasties. Now don't get me wrong, some Coasties are nice. Take Aunt Betsy, for example. She's genuinely pleasant, fun, polite, and good company. Of course, I don't think she's a native of Seattle, so maybe it doesn't count. At any rate, every holiday weekend our town is overrun by people from Seattle who don't work from the same example as Betsy. They throw their burning cigarettes onto the local dry lawns. They break into local cars, they flip off local workers, they cut off local drivers, and they smirk at how clever they are. Haw, haw, haw... the local yokels hain't never seen a middle finger before. How very cleeeever!

The thing is, I know where they're coming from. They think that because they make more money than us, they must be far wittier, smarter, and all-around superior to the hicks who run their holiday playground. Never mind the question it begs: if they make twice the money and it costs three times as much to live there, who's really smarter?

It doesn't seem to occur to them that this isn't just their playground; it's our home. How would they feel if we treated their home that way?

But then yesterday, I realized maybe I'm being hypocritical about the whole thing, expecting them to act like Brownsiders while they're here. After all, I don't act like a Coastie when I visit there. I'm polite and I drive well, even when I visit Seattle. So maybe I'm just as bad as they are, acting like a Brownsider when I visit the West Side.

Tell ya what. If I start cussing and driving like a maniac when I'm over there, will you folks start behaving like civilized human beings when you're here?

The Death of Inconvenience

2008-06-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

Today I was greeted at the entrance to the store by a man seeking petition signatures to get items on the ballot. One of them was called "Death with dignity." I cringe even thinking about what it means. "If you have any dignity, you'll off yourself when you become inconvenient."

If that sounds cynical, ask yourself what the message of abortion on demand is. Take a refresher course on the Michael Schiavo School of Disability Management. Let's face it, those who are not 100% self-reliant are treated like parasites on society, no thought given to their past or future accomplishments, or to the fact that by the very fact of their life they have dignity.

So we call it "choice" and kill inconvenient babies. We call it "dignity" and hurry the elderly on their way. We call it "right to die," and we decide for the disabled that they can't really want to live. And we pat ourselves on the back for having brought ourselves to this advanced, modern, humanist way of thinking. We value humans so much that we convince ourselves that the ones who don't have any value should be gone to help those who do have value to have a better human existence. Not only that, but we then go on to convince ourselves it's a kindness we have done.

All of this reminds me of the quote attributed to Ben Franklin, that democracy is two wolves and a sheep deciding what's for dinner. We cannot truly call ourselves enlightened until we start caring about the needs of the sheep.

More on History Odyssey

2008-06-21T12:14:00.001-07:00

I'm posting again on History Odyssey, because two people left questions about it it the comments. Now that I've had a little experience it's time for the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Well, the bad isn't terribly bad. So I'll start there. Basically, it does require preparation in the sense that you kind of need to have all of the spine materials before you start. It is rather hard to get off to a good start while buying the materials piecemeal. The timeline can be a pain to make, so it might be worth buying one, even though it feels like a waste of money. For all these reasons, I have to admit that I haven't gotten very far in the program yet.

The good is that what we have done has gone smoothly. The organization of it is every bit as good as I had initially thought. Because it's so well organized, it is fairly easy to supplement with discussions, web pages, and anything else that suits the subject at hand. One thing I'd like to see added is suggested vocabulary words. Also, I would recommend that parents using this program have at least some of the materials covered at least some of the time as read aloud. Not only does this give some extra together time, but it gives you a chance to answer questions as they come up rather than later. The Story of Mankind is a bit old, and the language somewhat archaic to modern middle schoolers, so covering some of it together takes the edge off, and can be a positive experience. It reads aloud well.

The ugly... well, I haven't found any yet. I really like it so far. In answer to Nancy's question, I have not found anything either pro- or anti-Catholic. I checked through TSOM, which looked like the spine material with the most opportunity for bias, and found none whatsoever. I jumped to the chapter on the reformation, and even that was extremely evenhanded. I literally could not tell what the author's personal beliefs were in a religious sense. Naturally, I haven't been through all of the side readings yet, but so far everything looks good.

10 Things that Keep Me Going

2008-06-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

10. Guilt. I'm the master of it, and there's nobody I give it to more than myself. I must go on, because I feel guilty about all the things undone.

9. Sheer stubbornness. I do not give up easily.

8. Coffee. There's something reassuring about old routines, and I've always kind of associated coffee with security, since childhood when my parents would have their morning coffee in peace, with good conversation.

7. Daydreams. Someday, I would like to be, to do, to have, to make...

6. A good night's sleep. Once in a blue moon, at least.

5. Hope. No matter how bad things get sometimes, I always have hope -- sometimes a desperate hope -- that things can improve.

4. My children. I guess everyone needs to be needed, and these little needers are also some exceptional people.

3. My love for my husband. I want to be there for him for the next 40-80 years.

2. My husband's love. Knowing that there's someone who cares that I'm here makes a huge difference.

1. God's love. It really is the one thing that would keep me going if everything else disappeared overnight. When I feel all alone, I know I am not. When I have nobody to talk to, He listens. Just knowing that I am not alone makes all the difference. The one biggest sorrow for me is knowing that there are people out there who fight Him with such a vengeance that they seek to convince others that He is not there, does not love them, or is some impersonal force. So many people seek to educate people out of their faith, or away from any possibility of finding faith. But faith is more than only my salvation in a theological sense; it is my salvation in every other sense, too. It saves me emotionally, psychologically, even physically. It gives me a reason to grow, a reason to be kind, a reason to learn and to seek joy and to love. To those who do not have or feel they need a personal relationship with God, all I can say is this: please, in the name of mercy, do not think you do a favor by "educating" people away from having one of their own. The need to see others share your doubts is not a generous, tolerant, or enlightened thing; it is harmful, and ultimately selfish.

Consider this a new meme: you're tagged.

Thought for the day

2008-06-02T12:31:00.000-07:00

Prayer should always be an act of love.

If I pray self-righteously, I'm doing it wrong.

Thought for the day

2008-05-29T21:27:00.001-07:00

When you feel like the gopher the cat dragged in, stop and ask yourself: is there anything in your life that is not a blessing from God? Now stop laughing as you think about that thorn in your side, that that couldn't possibly be from God, and remember Job's words. The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Try to remember that each thing in your life is a gift from God, even when it doesn't look like one. The dirty house is a roof and a shelter. The nagging child is life and the future. The exhaustion is life spent productively. God gave you this life because He loves you. Just like you might make a four year old eat his vegetables because you love him.

Blessed be the name of the Lord... in good times and challenging.

Note to Hypertot

2008-05-17T22:50:00.000-07:00

Honeybunch, you are indeed "allowed" to go to your room, and I suggest you go when told, regardless of your misconception. No, sending you there doesn't make Daddy a bad person, nor a bank robber, as you so eloquently stated, and I seriously doubt he's going to go to jail as a result. But nice try.

Neener Neener

2008-05-16T11:42:00.000-07:00

Telmarine Soldier: You're a ... mouse!
Reepicheep: You people have no imagination.

Note to Hypertot

2008-05-01T12:15:00.000-07:00

I think it's great that you learned how to make your own peanut butter sandwiches; but do you think you could use a butter knife, instead of a plastic toy dagger?

Prayers for Pat

2008-04-30T13:24:00.000-07:00

Please pray for the repose of Pat, a lady from my parish who was a truly incredible lady. She was a dynamic leader, a wise Christian, a friend to all, and an inspiration to the parish. She will be so very sorely missed. Please pray, also, for her family's consolation.

Question:

2008-04-20T15:36:00.000-07:00

What do you call a hippo that swears?

Answer:
Hippopottymouth.

Thanks, Shannon.

Calling Light Bloggers

2008-04-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

I had this idea I thought I'd share. Do you who blog ever feel like it's a little bit solitary? I know I do. Sometimes I wish I had a more interactive experience in the blogosphere. I see others sharing a sense of community, and occasionally I feel left out; and I don't have time, with homeschooling, a new baby, and a hubbie working two jobs, to chase after all the blogs I enjoy.

What I was thinking is that I'd like to start a group venture, an email group for a few bloggers who would like to share posts and discuss them, and whoever else wants to follow those blogs. The blog posts of maybe three to five bloggers would automatically post to the email group, and would be immediately available for discussion, not just "comments."

If you might be interested in such a group, please let me know. What I'm looking for is bloggers who do not post heavily... blogs that average less than one post a day. The blogs should also have the sort of posts that read well in text only, though that only needs to apply to the majority of posts. It's a chance, basically, for people who are not "big" bloggers to get their posts read.

As for non bloggers, yes, I would like them too. It takes more than just bloggers to keep a discussion group alive. Anyone who is interested in this, please contact me at carmelsundae (at) gmail (dot) com. I really hope this idea can take off!

Define love?

2008-04-12T20:31:00.000-07:00

Adults think love is an action.

Teenagers think love is an emotion.

Babies are certain that love is a taste.

Confession

2008-04-12T20:19:00.000-07:00

I admit, I went way too long without the sacrament. About 7 months, and for at least the last few, I needed it. You see, I was angry and lethargic, and it was hard at one point not to blame God.

But that wasn't the really rough part. You see, I got over the anger. But I didn't get over the knowledge that I had allowed a wedge between myself and God. So, while I continued praying, it felt rather like an awkward meeting with an estranged relative. I love Him, and I wanted things to be right between us, but I couldn't just pretend like nothing had passed. When you love someone, and He loves you, you want to be on good terms. And it hurts like (well, pardon the language, but it's appropriate) hell to have that distance of unrepaired bridges between you.

I won't go into too much detail about why it took so long to get back to Him, but suffice it to say that it really was beginning to feel like someone was out to get me. Car breakdown after car breakdown. Illness. Hubbie having no choice about working weekends. And so on. But it was enough to really make me examine my motives, and to think and pray for a way to get to confession. God made me really want it. It wasn't going to be enough to go through the motions this time.

So today, I finally got there. It was two or three minutes, without any pouring out of emotion or sage advice. It was one of those really simple (though not necessarily easy) confessions where you sit down and just lay it on the line. "I did this. I did this other thing. I did such and such." And I received a fairly simple penance of praying before the Blessed Sacrament.

And the prayer was so simple. Simple as light filling a room. Simple as warmth flooding through your body when you come in from the snow. Simple as a few words from me, and a few words from the Lord. "See how easily I forgive?"

And for the first time in months, I feel unburdened. I can go to God without a feeling of shame, just one of overwhelming gratitude.

My friends, if you have not been to confession in a while, please go soon. Someone is waiting for you with open arms.

Alleluia, Doggone It.

2008-03-22T21:30:00.000-07:00

There. I've said it, and the choir tyrant can't stop me now.

If any of you happen to be choir tyrants who like to toy with the liturgy, I urge you to reconsider. We'll just say alleluia when we get home anyway, so what is really accomplished.

Alleluia.

Alleluia.

Lent is over. Christ is risen, ALLELUIA, ALLELUIA!

acknowledgment

2008-03-20T11:54:00.001-07:00

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Note to Monkeytot

2008-03-19T16:44:00.001-07:00

Please do not take off your diaper and put on your brother's underwear. And if you disregard that, you should bear in mind that underwear should not be worn as a shirt.

I have seen the harbingers.

2008-03-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

The harbingers of spring, that is: the yard on the corner is awash with crocus. A few days early, spring had the good grace to arrive before the Resurrection, certainly ready to celebrate His renewed life on Sunday.

I love the crocus. It is the flower of hope.

Now, if our cars would just give us some hope. We've had five or six car problems so far in the past two months, each one incapacitating a car. The money that was supposed to have paid off our bills ended up going to mechanical work, and now the truck is down again, and there is no money left. Several of the bill payments bounced, as it is.

I'm not stressing to the degree that I was a few months ago, but I still can't help but wonder if someone is out to get us. It sounds paranoid, but how else do you explain that the moment (literally, the very moment, in some cases) we get one car repaired, another breaks down? And then the first one breaks again, and then the second.

Meanwhile, at least there is one positive thing about the situation: when walking on the errands, I see the crocus blossoms that refuse to believe that the weather is still cold.

Lord, please let us be able to make it to Mass for your Resurrection.

Grinding One's Axe on the Child

2008-03-03T09:23:00.000-08:00

That's what I strongly believe is going on with the child mentioned here. Specifically, a second grader has announced that he's transgendered, with his family's support, and the school is obliged to support him in the decision.

So, where does an eight year old get a word like "transgender"? Where does a child that age get the concept that he isn't really the person he sees in the mirror? Even if it were true, it isn't an issue a second grader would be able to put into words.

That is, unless his parents jumped on the idea.

I could see a kid that age putting on Mommy's high heels and traipsing around the house saying "I'm a woman!" I've seen younger kids than that do it, because every child toys with the idea of pretending to be various role models. Every child I've ever known, by age two, tries on both Mommy's and Daddy's shoes... and big brother's, and aunt's... and any big person in his life. That is how they explore the idea that they will be big one day themselves. So, when a second grader comes up with the idea that it isn't fair that Sister has prettier clothes than he has, or wants to be just like Mommy when he grows up, it's not terribly surprising.

What is surprising is a parent who is so eager to display his axe to grind that when Kiddo says "I wish I could wear dresses like Mommy does," says "Woohoo, we have a transgender kid! Isn't it great? Now we can make our point to the world!!"

So now a kid who had an appreciation for gingham is suddenly assigned a lifetime of wearing girl's clothing and thinking daily about his own sexuality from this day forward. By age eleven, he will be deciding with whom to have sex. By age eighteen, he will likely commit suicide. The article doesn't mention that: that the majority of transgender people commit suicide.

But it's worth it, because it allows Mommy's and Daddy's soap box to be big and visible. Who gives a damn what it does to the child?

Anything for politics. Anything for politics. Anything for politics. Keep repeating that until you convince yourself that the child is less important than the issue.

History Odyssey

2008-03-01T12:34:00.000-08:00

One of the fastest ways to get me excited is with a new homeschooling book. I just received History Odyssey in the mail, after having ordered it by the slowest mail some time ago. And I have to say, it doesn't disappoint. It looks fantastic, and I can't wait to start with it. What I ordered is, specifically, History Odyssey, Middle Ages, Level 2. It's the guide for grades 5-8 or 9, and it approaches history from a Classical Education perspective.

Now, if you've seen my previous words on the subject of Classical Education, you realize that when I say it, I do not mean an education that focuses on Rome and Greece. In fact, as you can see from the title of this guide, we are not even studying Rome and Greece this year, but the Middle Ages. And that includes Europe, the Middle East, the Far East, India, Africa, and the Americas. Wow. That alone was a tremendous selling point for me, as so many history programs focus only on one part of the world, and almost all English language programs seem to ignore Asia and Africa, and give only passing acknowledgment to South America.

For those who homeschool or afterschool and are interested in this program, let me tell you a little about it, at least what I can tell so far. You can decide for yourself if this is a program you'll like; but I'll warn you, my enthusiasm may rub off.

The first, and perhaps most important, thing you need to know is that this is not a textbook. In fact, it isn't a book but a set of hole-punched pages. It does not contain the reading material for your history program, but instead organizes your program and lays out in-depth assignments. It comes with a list of materials you will need to buy (or check out at the library), so you may find it costlier than many other programs. That's the biggest disadvantage. The flip side is that the reason for this is that it makes use of real books, not twaddle. These books are written by real writers. They include genuine reference books, novels, even literature. This is the stuff that turns kids on to history, not off. If you have ever known someone who was truly excited and knowledgeable about history, I'd stake my favorite pen that he or she reads historical fiction of some sort. Not only does historical literature awaken the real drama of the past, but it also presents historical people and events from varied perspectives, as opposed to the trimmed-clean versions you find in textbooks, that have all interest removed in order to avoid offending whoever writes the current rules of political correctness.

Besides the literature, this program is heavy on research, writing, notebooking, outlining, and timelining. But it doesn't leave you on your own to figure out how to do these activities; it guides you through the process. In addition, it contains a number of blank maps and worksheets for completing the assignments that require them. In that regard, the program is self-contained.

The work itself is divided into mostly one-session lessons. The exception is the books to be read within the program. Each session should last up to two hours, and is made up of a list of activities with check boxes. This may sound silly, but those check boxes look very helpful to me. It helps me to keep track of what is done and where exactly we are in a program. It's funny how overwhelming a program without a "list" or check boxes can look. The lessons themselves are subsections of parts or units that divide the study geographically, so that the student studies the era systematically, not neglecting large areas of the world.

When I ordered the program, I didn't realize how necessary the other books were. Specifically, it is impossible to get started without first obtaining The Kingfisher History Encyclopedia and The Story of Mankind. So, alas, I have to get these books before we can dive in. But I can't tell you how eager I am to get started. I think I may get them from the library until I have my own copies.

I'd love to hear from anyone else who has used History Odyssey, or any other Classical approach to history, and how it has gone for you.

A Reason for Reading

2008-02-25T11:18:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have a confession to make: I haven't been blogging much lately. I'm averaging 6 hours of sleep a night for the past six weeks, and spending most of the rest of my time holding a baby, nursing, directing housework and schoolwork (or attempting to do so), and trying to catch up on the many tasks I couldn't do during the end of pregnancy and recovery. But mostly it's the lack of sleep. Anyway, my apologies and gratitude to anyone who is still checking here for new posts.

Today I come to you with another confession: I've been keeping a dream of mine secret for some time, because I worried that it would look pompous, and also that it would never come true. But I think it's time to share, and let you offer some of your wisdom to help me along. What I've wanted for years is to get a Masters Degree in Theology, and if the opportunity ever becomes available, a Licentiate in Sacred Theology. I know that the two are years off, but maybe it is God keeping them at arms' distance because I am not prepared. Maybe, just maybe, if I make myself ready He will provide the opportunity. So I am going to try to prepare for these studies, and I am asking you for input. What do you think would be the best way to prepare, long term, for those goals?

I'll be honest. I don't know if these desires will ever come to pass. But I do know that studying the faith is always a good thing, so even if I never get to the "goal," the journey will be worth the effort.

Fr. Felipe on the subject of gum at Mass

2008-02-18T10:07:00.000-08:00

"You have two choices. You can either eat it, or you can give it to me and I will give it back to you after Mass."

I haven't forgotten you.

2008-02-15T11:39:00.000-08:00

Really I haven't. I'm sorry for not updating sooner, though I hope those of you who are following our soap opera have seen Joel's update. We will come out of this crunch, after all, but I can't give details now because of a preschooler yelling "Mommy" from the other side of the door, a baby wanting fed, a toddler sneaking to disassemble machinery, and sick and/or grumpy older kids. That's been my week, so I hope you'll forgive me for being slow to reply to you all. I am very grateful for you. I truly am.

Lord, we need your help.

2008-02-08T17:13:00.000-08:00

We're losing our house. There is no way we can find a rental for our size family. I don't know what we're going to do.

Happy birthday to me

2008-02-07T06:17:00.000-08:00

Today I get, not another year older, and probably not wiser, but at least more mellowed and flavorful.

How many years of flavor? That's a good question. If there are no more questions, class is dismissed.

Edit/note from birthday ... uh... girl: it's amazing how much wittier my writing gets with my husband knowing my blogger password!

How Gary Ezzo Made Me a Better Parent

2008-02-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

It is 3:00 AM, and 4-week old Peter cries. It isn't a cry, exactly, but a fussy sound of a child who is hungry but not quite wide enough awake to communicate it. I consider rolling over and waiting till he wails, but then I remember Ezzo, and I make myself cheerful about sliding off my bed and picking up my precious baby. My baby is talking to me, and I have the privilege of being one of the people who gets to teach him that big people listen and understand when he communicates. I have the privilege of being the one God chose to make milk and feed it to him. And he, being exactly the way God made him, communicates well.

Anyone who is familiar with Babywise, or Ezzo's other writings, may be thinking, now, "But that isn't what Ezzo teaches!"

Exactly. It isn't. Ezzo teaches that babies need to be taught to conform to adult schedules, and that adults need to learn to view baby's cries not as communication but as a form of manipulation that must be squashed. And while many families have used Ezzo's techniques with results that cause envy among other adults (babies who sleep through the night and do not cry), many families have also suffered heartbreak and serious consequences from having followed these techniques. Babies have suffered documented ailments from failure to thrive to slow starvation. And these consequences are not merely anecdotal; the AAP has condemned forced scheduling. They have documented dehydration and failure to thrive as consequences of Ezzo's practices. Lactation consultants, child development experts, and child advocacy agencies have all recognized these consequences.

And if you look a little more deeply, a basic understanding of how children develop should show us that babies' development should be about far more than merely training them to adapt to adult convenience; rather, infancy and childhood are times when we adults are helping to form the cornerstone for our children's growth and gifts. A child who learns that when he cries, someone cares and helps, learns that he can communicate. A child who learns that his cries go ignored will learn that communication is futile. The fact that a child stops crying does not mean he is a "good" child, but one who has given up on trying to make that connection, because he knows that his attempt will not bear fruit. What is the outlook for such a child in his future relationships? What is his outlook for learning, for communicating?

Ezzo is right about one thing: we are raising our children for God. It is our duty to raise them in preparation for serving Him. But the real question is how do we do this? Do we raise them to serve Him by suppressing their strengths, their ability to communicate, and their sense of worth? Do we teach children that they matter because they are made in God's image by telling them that their needs are evil and manipulative? Or do we teach them to honor Him by helping them to cultivate all their gifts? Do we squash their personalities or mold them?

God made babies. He made them to cry when they have a need, so that we might know. Who are we to say that God made them wrong?

And now, when I hear my little baby cry, and I'm so tired my arms and legs ache like overstretched rubber, I will try very hard to remember that God knows best. I want my son to grow up knowing my love in no uncertain terms; maybe if I am not selfish, he will never be tempted to think that God, in whose image my son sees me, is selfish either.

Bless the beasts and the children. For in this world, they have no voice. They have no choice."

Sickened

2008-01-28T15:41:00.000-08:00

I'm just sickened when I read the news. One mother is accused of microwaving her baby. Another killed her toddler in a murder suicide as revenge on her ex husband. And there was the recent national news about Baby Grace, whose mother and stepfather tortured and killed her.

And I ache and feel nauseated over each one of these. I hear my tiny one cry, and it makes me go all mushy. I am outraged... and so are we all. But where is the outrage, hurt, nausea, over the millions of tiny ones deliberately and legally killed every year? How can we call ourselves compassionate if we put political theories on such a high pedestal that we no longer care whom they hurt?

Parody Contest: Annie's Song

2008-01-18T16:10:00.000-08:00

For a little bit of fun, I offer to you a parody contest. I'm sure most of you remember Annie's Song, by John Denver. Who can come up with the best spoof? You have till next Friday, in the comments field. The winner gets ... well, a hearty pat on the back, a link, and all of our unending admiration. What did you expect, cash?

Our New Lil Guy

2008-01-12T11:56:00.001-08:00

Happy announcement forthcoming: I am pleased to introduce to you

Peter Carroll

The newest member of our family.

He was born at 9:57 AM on Tuesday, January 8, by c-section, weighing in at 7 lbs, 2 oz, and measuring 19 1/2 inches. The love with which he was greeted by family members is beyond measure.

Mommy and baby are doing fine, having returned home from the hospital yesterday (Friday). There were no complications, and healing seems to be going well.

My Charming and Patient Husband thinks I get too mushy about baby details, so there's the black and white scoop. Thank you all for your prayers... God has obviously been listening.

Baby Day, Tuesday

2008-01-07T19:11:00.001-08:00

That's right. Tomorrow I'm going to deliver Baby Peter by c-section at 9:00 AM pacific time. Prayers for our safety and health will be mightily appreciated, and we'll update info as soon as feasibility allows.

Playing with Gravidity

2007-12-30T12:38:00.000-08:00

Just nine more days to go!

Playing with Gravity

2007-12-28T08:49:00.000-08:00

Monkeytot has discovered gravity. I don't mean that in the sense that a baby learns that he falls off the couch if he crawls too far. And I certainly don't mean it in the sense that I fear to bend over lest my little joey weigh me down so heavily in front that I can't get back up. I mean that Monkeytot has a new toy, and it happens to be one of the laws of physics.

It began yesterday when she found a mouse ball. Normally, a mouse ball without a mouse isn't good for much except fitting into a totty mouth. But once we'd gotten the saliva wiped off, she discovered something cool: if she set it oh-so-carefully on the edge of a tv tray, it would roll off the side. And she would giggle. And she would pick up the ball and place it carefully in the center of the tray, to see the same result. In fact, wherever she put it on the tray, it rolled over one side or another. And every time, she giggled.

Today, she put it to a greater challenge. This time, she took three plastic rings, the kind that are used to hold toys onto playmat overhangs or mobiles. (They also link together very satisfyingly, and are too big to fit into a mouth.) The challenge is that they don't roll. But they do slide, if put on a surface less flat than a tv tray... like, say, a head.

So she put one ring on her head and watched as it slid off. Delightfully, two and then three rings at a time showed the same results. But one being easier, she eventually settled for putting the one green plastic ring on her head over and over again, to see how far she had to tilt her head to make it slide off, and how still she had to hold her head to make it stay.

And once again, watching a toddler, I learn something about God, and why we are to be like little children. Children, as they learn the laws that govern things, are fascinated. It pleases them to discover that there is a force stronger than their little fingers, and they giggle as they find that they can't disobey the law of gravity... the consequences are too consistent.

Yet adults often view the laws of the universe differently. The Way Things Work is a fearful thing. Giving in to them doesn't make them giggle, it makes them mourn. When the child discovers that an object rolls or slides, she giggles; yet when an adult discovers that sex causes pregnancy or we don't recover our sense of self-worth until we repent, somehow to many it looks like something to mourn. Many adults think that -- or hope irrationally that -- if they refuse to acknowledge those laws of the universe, they won't be bound by them.

The thinking goes something like this: "If I acknowledge God and grace in my life, I have to live by His rules. I don't think I can give up control, so I will just refuse to let Him into my life, and pretend that I do not believe or do not care." But of course, like gravity, the laws of the universe go on working whether we acknowledge them or not. If the toddler believes this time the ball won't roll off the table, it doesn't prevent the ball from rolling off the table. And if the adult convinces himself that sex outside of marriage can be separated from love or procreation without consequences, his soul still gets knocked around; and so does his partner's.

It reminds me of the older child who thinks that if he closes his eyes, we can't see him because he can't see us. The adult closes his eyes to God, thinking that then God cannot see him, and therefore God can be effectively excluded from any influence on the world.

But if one of my children closes his eyes, not only do I continue to see him, but I also continue to love him. God is the same, only far more so. So instead of fighting gravity, closing our eyes, and seeking ways to avoid Him, just as Adam and Eve hid from Him in the garden, why don't we learn to take delight in the Way Things Work? Gravity can be fun, and God continues to love us.

Today, 8 is the magic number.

2007-12-06T18:30:00.000-08:00

I found a self-tagging meme at A Catholic Mom in Hawaii, and decided to tag myself.

The Meme is 8 Random Facts Meme, and here's the obligatory quote about it.

.. Here’s what you do:
~ Each person starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves and post these guidelines.
~ At the end of the post, choose 8 people to be tagged and list their names.
~ Don’t forget to leave a comment telling them that they are tagged and to read your blog. Have fun!

1. I always figured I'd have four kids. I never dreamed of 8.

2. When I was young, I wanted to be an interpreter for the United Nations. Then I discovered debate, my major changed, and all bets were off.

3. I received a nomination to the Air Force Academy, but ended up not going because I couldn't do a pull-up.

4. I like peanut butter and pickle sandwiches... and did even before I was pregnant.

5. When the house is empty, I like to pray out loud.

6. I have a really hard time keeping my language clean. I want to, but old habits really do die hard.

7. I have a history of practical jokes. Not harmful ones, though.

8. I have an unhealthy preference for most things pink.

The Religion of Peace Idolatry

2007-12-04T17:03:00.000-08:00

They say they don't worship any man. There is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is his name? Um, I mean prophet. Er, Prophet. Uh, I mean Prophet, peacebeuntohim. Or is that peace be unto Him?

They call upon the government to execute a person who allows her kid to name his teddy bear after a classmate because the classmate happens to be named Mohammed. If using lightly even the name of the prophet is a blasphemy, it sounds to me like a form of worship.

Perhaps these self-named monotheists ought to rethink their worship of their ~~idol~~ prophet.

Morning Prayer

2007-11-28T07:12:00.000-08:00

Oh, sweet Lord, grant me strength and grace, so that I may please You today.

I haven't disappeared... really.

2007-11-27T17:06:00.000-08:00

Although I realize it may seem that way.

Mainly, I've been stressing and exhausting. And It's very hard for me to write when I'm stressed or exhausted. The stresses have been that the child support suddenly ended, so we're not able to meet our expenses again. That, and Baby is expected in a mere six weeks and we are as unready as it is possible to be. The exhaustion stems, no doubt, from those same facts.

Earlier in the year, the support was spotty and partial. Silly me, I complained; so I get the chance to see how much harder things can get. I prayed about going back to work, and was given an emphatic "No!" So for the time being, there doesn't seem to be much to do short of disobedience. That's not a road that either Joel or I wants to go down, so we have to bide our time and find creative ways to answer the phone when the creditors call. I'm learning, at least, to trust in God. He has a funny habit of waiting till the very last moment to send assistance, no doubt to test and strengthen our steel.

Even as I write, the song "Blessed be the name of the Lord" just came on. The line missing, but the line I must constantly remember is in the Biblical context, is the first part: "The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." I really wish, sometimes, that God didn't feel so strongly that our moral lessons need to come out of the Book of Job. It is not an encouraging place to go to be fed. But obviously God has his reasons for inspiring the book and allowing it to be included in the Canon of the Bible. He didn't consult me on the matter, so I need to remember that I don't have to understand His reasons.

The unpreparedness is a newer issue. It kind of hit suddenly, when I realized that it will take more than six weeks to get our bedroom clean enough to make space to put a cradle. We have yet to fish the boy clothes out of the garage and wash them, and something tells me it might be a good idea to buy some newborn diapers.

A few things I am prepared for, though. First, I'm fairly prepared for my first appointment, two weeks from now, with the obstetrician who will be delivering our Little Guy. (My regular family doctor has handled the pregnancy, but the OB will do the actual cutting.) I have my questions ready about medicines, recovery, and keeping husband and baby with me during recovery, if possible. I'm also prepared to "act like a sissy."

You see, last time around I felt silly staying more than a day and a half in the hospital, so I went home before I could handle being home. I couldn't do difficult tasks like getting in bed or lying down. I had to sleep in a chair, because the bed was just too ambitious. This time, I don't care how silly it feels, I will stay as long as they allow me to. I will have a footstool beside my bed, and a shower chair in the shower, and I will walk around as much as I'm able to speed up my digestive tract after surgery. And yes, I will bring movies and maybe some earphones. I will allow, just this once, total strangers (if you can call people who go to my church and cared for me through my last two childbirths and recoveries) to treat me like a princess.

It sounds silly, maybe... but just feeling ready for these small aspects of delivery and recovery makes me feel just a little less overwhelmed with the idea of bringing home a baby for whom we have enough love but not enough money and not nearly enough space.

We've rounded that final corner, at least that final measurable one. The appointments, starting Monday, will be weekly. Never mind that it's only because I'm old, not because I'm in the final month; it still gives me that marvelous feeling of progress. And because of the two vessel cord, they want to do another sonogram on Monday to check fetal growth. This will be our fourth sonogram this pregnancy -- a record for me.

So now you're all up to date. Now that I've made my excuses for blog-lethargy, maybe now I can get back to that biting sass you've all grown accustomed to.

Note to Hypertot

2007-11-23T14:31:00.000-08:00

Jesus doesn't fly like Superman, and the cross is not a personal flight device. (He is, however, more powerful than a locomotive. We'll have to talk about that some other time.)

A Counting Song for Hypertot

2007-10-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

One, two, look for your shoe.

Three, four, repair the door.

Five, six, Put down those sticks!

Seven, eight, don't swing on the gate.

Nine, ten, here we go again.

Things I Wish I Had Known about Cesarians

2007-10-21T03:51:00.000-07:00

Now that I am in my third trimester, I find myself reflecting on my last birth, the one that ended in a surprise and terrifying Cesarean Section. Because of the last one, I'm required to have a "repeat c-section" with this birth. At least I have the good fortune of being able to prepare for this surgery. So, partly as a reminder to myself and partly as advice to others, I offer these things I wish I'd known last time but will be careful to remember this time.

If you are expecting, and you are certain that this post will never apply to you, I beg you to read it anyway. Humor me. I was also certain I'd never need a c-section. I wish I had learned more about them.

1. Any delivery can involve surprise emergencies. No mother is exempt.
In my case, I was certain that a c-section was out of the question because I'd successfully delivered four children already, two of them large. I have what one obstetrician once called "very good birthing hips." And I figured with my history, I could even be fairly sure that my children would be in the normal size range. It never occurred to me that the words "uh oh" muttered by a nurse during a labor exam would change everything. It never occurred to me that I'd have a ten and a half pound breech baby. Be at least a little prepared, even if you think it isn't a possibility.

2. Many doctors routinely feed a medicine called "Duramorph" into the epidural or spinal for c-sections. It is a form of Morphine, and will make you feel strange. If you start feeling sleepy or surreal on the table, don't panic; it's just the medicine.

3. The Spinal or Epidural medicine may surprise you.
Even if you've had an epidural before, for a non-surgical delivery, the epidural or spinal you receive for a c-section does not feel the same, because it is dosed much more strongly. It can actually make you feel numb all the way up to your lungs, so that you can't feel yourself breathing. It does not mean you are not breathing. Again, do not panic. If you are really worried, just tell the nurses, and they will watch you closely during recovery.

4. After delivery, your first pain may be a sharp pain in the shoulder. This is not a pulled muscle, but a gas bubble pressing against an abdominal nerve. The best remedy is to walk. That helps you work out the gas.

5. Ask for what you need in the hospital.
The nurses may not think to give you a stepstool to help you into bed, or a shower chair for in case you get dizzy while showering. Just because they don't think of it does not mean your needs are unimportant. You will have needs after a c-section that you would not necessarily have after a natural delivery.

6. Do not go home sooner than you need to.
I can't stress this one strongly enough. I thought I was ready, and felt a little silly staying in the hospital being "waited on." So I went home before they made me. One of the first things I discovered was that my bed was not patient-friendly, and that the need for a mechanical bed that automatically raises and lowers can be extreme. The first night home, I was not even able to get into my bed, resulting in serious leg swelling the next day from not being reclined during the night. I also discovered I could not get in and out of my chair very well to pick up the baby to nurse. The assistance available at the hospital may not be available at home, and don't underestimate its importance.

7. Medicine maintenance is a much bigger issue after surgery.
Don't be afraid to use pain management medicine, especially if you are nursing. Pain can seriously impede your ability to nurse. But also be careful not to use more than you need, particularly narcotic medicine. If you find that it becomes difficult to fall asleep without it, you may be working into a dependency, and it may be time to reduce your dosage or stop using it.

8. It can take a couple of days longer for your milk to come in if you are nursing after a c-section.
I'm not sure if this is because of pain, or shock, or because your body hasn't been through the whole birthing process. But extra patience is necessary. The more often you nurse, the more milk you will get, so keep at it! Also, prepare for nursing after a cesarean by reading a good article or two on the subject.

9. Have fiber.
Prepare ahead of time, and make sure you have a fiber supplement in the house before you have the baby, whether you expect a c-section or not. I cannot begin to tell you the pain you can save yourself by using a good fiber supplement daily while recovering from any birth but especially from a surgical delivery. Your muscles will not have the strength to push, and you will have natural (and possibly wise) fears about stressing your stitches. But a case of constipation can leave you very, very sore even after it is gone. So take the fiber preventively, before you need it.

10. If you catch a cold, hold your belly.
Specifically, if you need to cough or sneeze hold your abdominal muscles in place. This will make your cough or sneeze far less painful and less dangerous.

The Man Meme

2007-10-17T18:44:00.000-07:00

Hijacked from Christine at Domestic Vocation.

1. Who is your man? Joel

2. How long have you been together? We've been married almost 5 years (December 30)

3. How long did you date? 1 year 9 1/2 months

4. How old is your man? 39

5. Who eats more? Usually me, the knocked up one.

6. Who said “I love you” first? I did. We'd been chatting for about 9 months and he made a game of trying to figure out where I lived based on my verbal clues. (The man loves a challenge.) I realized I had fallen in love, and spent two weeks praying about whether to tell him, and the day my two week vigil was up, he figured out my address. I sent him an e-card that said "You've found the way to my heart." And in white text, with a white background, I wrote "I love you." He was supposed to figure out the secret message, but I ended up having to tell him to press control-A.

7. Who is taller? Joel by 11 inches.

8. Who sings better? I have a better singing voice, but he remembers the actual lyrics.

9. Who is smarter? He is. Even my family reluctantly suspects it.

10. Whose temper is worse? Mine. There's a reason I call him my Charming and Patient Husband.

11. Who does the laundry? Usually me, but not exclusively by any means.

12. Who takes out the trash? The kids, if I have anything to say about it.

13. Who sleeps on the right hand side of the bed? Him.

14. Who pays the bills? Me, with the money he earns. (I kept Christine's words here.)

15. Who is better with the computer? He's better with hardware, I'm better with software.

16. Who mows the lawn? The kids. All I have to do is consider mowing the lawn, and I'm pregnant.

17. Who cooks dinner? Him. He's a darned good cook.

18. Who drives when you are together? Men have that mysterious form of carsickness that shows up any time someone else is behind the wheel, ya know?

19. Who pays when you go out? Usually him, but does it really matter? It's coming from the same source either way.

20. Who is most stubborn? Him.

21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? We both do, in different ways.

22. Whose parents do you see the most? His, because mine live too far away.

23. Who kissed who first? The first time we met was after we'd been "seeing" each other for five months online. I picked him up at the airport, and he walked straight into my arms and kissed me. The he backed away and said "I hope to God you're Christina."

24. Who asked who out? I guess me. When we met, it was for my niece's wedding that I'd asked him to.

25. Who Proposed? Oh, he did. He took me to the nicest Mexican restaurant in town, together with all the kids. He had my oldest in his truck, and I drove the rest in my Geo. (We couldn't all fit in one vehicle, even then.) On the way, he asked my son's permission to marry me. While we were waiting for our dinner, he took out a newspaper printout that had a picture of him on one knee with the words "Christina, will you marry me?" And he took out a ring and put it on my pinkie, the only finger it fit on!

26. Who is more sensitive? Me. And he's awfully sensitive to my sensitivity.

27. Who has more friends? Him. I'm not good at making friends.

28. Who has more siblings? Me. I have four sisters, and he has one.

29. Who wears the pants in the family? I think Christine was referring to this same movie scene: in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the mother explains that the husband is the head of the family, and the wife is the neck that tells him which way to turn. But it never really seems to come down to authority, because we both trust each other's judgment so much.

And I can't word the tag better than Christine did: If the spirit moves you, go on and leave a link to your meme answers in the com boxes!

Atlanta Drought

2007-10-15T09:43:00.000-07:00

Please pray for those in Atlanta, where a drought threatens to leave drinking water gone in three months. Rain, Lord, please!

A reminder

2007-10-08T16:40:00.000-07:00

God doesn't just love "people."
He loves YOU. He knows every fault and every fear, and He can't get enough of you.

God is love, but He is more than a concept of love. He is someone who loves you more than you ever, ever imagined.

Note to Self

2007-10-02T11:13:00.000-07:00

In future, be sure to look closely at Hypertot's coat before sending him to preschool, to make sure it is actually a coat and not a snowsuit.

Mind if I Gripe?

2007-10-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

I'm at my wits' end, and I wish I had some idea what to do. At this rate, there is reason to doubt that our three youngest will live to age 6. This is because three-year-old Hypertot, who is labeled as cognitively delayed, happens, also, to be a genius. Not your ordinary sort of genius, but the mad-scientist-mechanical-engineer sort. And a hyperactive one.

We've already given up on every safety device sold at Wal-Mart. He has outsmarted each and every one. He can open latches, unclasp straps, and open doors with doorknob covers effortlessly. He unhooks 6-foot-high eye hooks, removes tiny pins from hasps, and breaks right through locking cabinets, removing the doors from the hinges if necessary. He's twice removed his bedroom door from the hinges. Childproof lids on medicines and bleach are a joke. The only two things that have ever worked were a backwards doorknob lock, and heavy duty magnetic cabinet locks. The backwards doorknob lock is simple: a regular lockable bedroom doorknob with a lock, the sort you can pick with your fingernail if you know how. He hasn't yet figured out what we're doing, but it's just a matter of time. The magnetic lock is invisible from the outside, and requires a powerful magnet to be applied at the exact right spot to open.

My Charming and Patient Husband must, by now, be losing his patience. Saturday we spent the morning buying safety items at Home Depot. (Magnetic locks for the cabinets and a locking doorknob for the laundry room. The magnetic locks, by the way, are quite costy.) He spent the afternoon installing them, with no small effort. The doorknob was the first simple doorknob installation in this house, because all the doorknobs in the front of the house were a smaller size (older house) and he had to redrill the holes. But the magnetic locks are a bear. They're worth both the cost and the effort, because everyone says the same thing about them: children who can break through every other safety can't break through these.

But they don't have a Hypertot. This afternoon, we discovered a puddle of bleach where he'd poured it out on the kitchen floor, and one-year-old Monkeytot locked under the sink.

Yes, he's figured out how to open the cupboards with the UNBREAKABLE locks, without using a magnet.

Well, at least it's been two days since he's put her in the dryer.

Nice Matters

2007-09-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

Sharon at The Bird's Nest nominated me for the Nice Matters Award. (Thank you, Sharon. This is the first time I've gotten anything like that, and you made my day.) I'm sorry for taking so long to respond; I was afraid that all the people I'd think of would already have gotten nominated, so I procrastinated about posting. Silly me, I finally realized I could just Google people to see if they'd already been recognized.

Here is the description she posted:

Here is what the Nice Matters Award is all about: “This award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. Once you’ve been awarded please pass on to seven others whom you feel are deserving of this award."

I have to say it's hard to narrow it down to seven people who have had a positive effect, not only on me but on many others. This past year has been such a challenging one, and the warmth I've seen in the Blogosphere has really helped me through some hard times. But here, if I must choose seven, is a short list. Know that a number of people I wanted to include already had posted, and I heartily endorse them!

1. Rob at Kyrie Eleison.
His posts inspire me to remember to see the good in the world and the people around me.

2. Julie at Happy Catholic.
She always reminds us all to pray. She is also very good at making people feel that they really matter.

3. Christine, at Ramblings of a Catholic Soccer Mom, and more specifically at Domestic Vocation.
I first started reading her at her Soccer Mom blog. It was one of my first regular reads, and I've always enjoyed it. But I can't even express how much Domestic Vocation has helped me in times of trouble. God finds ways of using Christine's posts to answer my prayers when I'm in need of guidance. And let's face it, we all need reminders sometimes of the roles in our lives that are not merely choices but vocations.

4. Rebecca at Just a Little Bit of Something Extra.
She writes about Down Syndrome and a very beautiful little girl. If everyone could see this lovely child and this lovely blog, the world would be embracing children like this instead of fearing the diagnosis.

5. Ms. Kitty at Ms. Kitty's Saloon and Road Show.
Ms. Kitty continually amazes me; we come from such different perspectives on so many things, yet her insights always inspire me to think more deeply, and she is ever urging all of her readers, myself included, to look within ourselves to see if we are being as kind as we are able. Plus, I happen to know personally, that she's as genuinely nice in real life as she comes across in her blog. In fact, more so.

6. Stacey at Housewife in Flip Flops (Because "thong" is too controversial a word.)
She very consistently makes me smile. She not infrequently makes me laugh. Out loud. And I tell you, laughing is nice. Very nice.

7. Angelmeg at Transcendental Musings.
She has a way of wrapping faith and her personal humanness together into one package that uplifts others, I suspect, more than she realizes. It is, in my opinion, the most effective kind of testimony, because it is real life, not a formula.

Thank you all, and those who were already nominated by others, for your inspiration.

Note to Hypertot

2007-09-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

I don't care what Simon says, I am not going to pick my nose.

Start Them Catholics Young

2007-09-25T18:04:00.000-07:00

Hypertot to me:
"I'm going to pray to Mary."

Hypertot to God:
"God, please make Mary feel better."

His bus driver, Mary, had a substitute today, and we suspect she was sick.
I've really got to work on those prepositions with him.

edit: Silly me, first I should work on my own prepositions. Actual conversation quote now corrected.

Argh!

2007-09-25T11:06:00.000-07:00

Movie piracy, as many newly purchased DVDs will remind us, is a crime. I have no problem with that message; but what really bugs me is when I've spent the money and bought the movie, and then I'm forced to sit through the nagging reminder each and every time I view it. You can't forward past it; and it seems to chew you out, as though you were a criminal. Don't they get that if you were a movie pirate, you would have edited out the anti-piracy nag? They are, in essence, chewing me out for doing it precisely because I didn't do it. With that in mind, I really loved this clip.

Time to Heal

2007-09-23T21:16:00.001-07:00

There are some things it's always time for. Healing and forgiveness in particular.
Today's first reading told us this:

Hear this, you who trample upon the needy
and destroy the poor of the land!
“When will the new moon be over,” you ask,
“that we may sell our grain,
and the sabbath, that we may display the wheat?
We will diminish the ephah,
add to the shekel,
and fix our scales for cheating!
We will buy the lowly for silver,
and the poor for a pair of sandals;
even the refuse of the wheat we will sell!”
The LORD has sworn by the pride of Jacob:
Never will I forget a thing they have done!

And memories, unhappy ones, came flooding back. I'm not proud to admit that my first thought was "Oh, good. I want justice."

It was 1997, and I was going through a divorce. I had driven 2,000 miles to get home, in a Geo Metro, with three kids and whatever possessions we could fit in the back of the car. It was a complete leap of faith, because the "home" to which I was returning wasn't a house or an apartment; it was a state, where my family lived. But I did not have a home waiting. My sister and her husband put us up for as long as they were able, but the price of housing was higher than I'd anticipated, and I couldn't find any apartment in the county that cost less per month than my welfare income. Child support had not yet been established, I found myself homeless with three young children. Finally, at the last possible moment, I got someone to rent me a house, and although the situation was far from optimal, at least we had a roof over our heads. The downside was that the owner of the house dropped by whenever she wanted, and always brought with her a sense of darkness and fear that I could not dispel. She would criticize me for having food out ("inviting critters") while we were eating dinner. She judged me harshly for having clothes on the bedroom floor, although she'd neglected to make available the dresser she'd promised. All of this was worth tolerating, though, for a sense of safety for the kids, and a chance to make new beginnings.

Then, after four months, the situation got ugly. The landlord had decided she'd make more money during the summer by renting the house out as a summer cottage for tourists, and she appeared on the last day of the month to tell me I had to be out by the following day. What could I do? I started packing. By this time, we had a lot of stuff, because my ex had mailed package after package to me in an attempt to prove good will. I had also just done my monthly grocery shopping, and filled the refrigerator with the last of my month's food stamps.

I rented a storage unit, and a friend rented a U-Haul trailer to bring my things there, but it would take two trips because we'd gotten the smallest trailer. On the way out, I ran into the landlord, and warned her that I had cancelled two of the checks that were awaiting her in her post office box: I had cancelled the check for next month's rent, since I would not be there, and I had cancelled this month's check which she had not yet cashed, because I had paid first, last, and deposit when I moved in, so she had already been paid for this month. Obviously, I was going to need that money to get a new place.

She accused me of "pulling a stunt" and got very angry. Evidently she had counted on having an extra two months of rent from me. When I returned to collect the rest of my things, she had changed the lock. Eventually she toted about half of my remaining things to my sister's house and dumped them on the lawn. She kept the most expensive items, though, and literally all of the food. I was now without food for the next month, with no place to live, and with threats of legal action against me. All of this with no warning at all.

Things eventually worked out. We got a one time "homeless benefit" from the state which helped us pay for a motel and helped us with move in costs when I finally found a low cost apartment in another county. My mother and sister helped out with meals until the next food stamps arrived; and we eventually ended up in a secure and attractive apartment that, miraculously, cost an amount I could barely afford. But in these ten years I've still found it difficult to forgive someone who put us on the street and stole from us while we were homeless. I got over the loss of the Revereware that had been a wedding present pretty quickly, but the loss of the lifelong collection of family photos was a lot harder to forget. Greed I can understand; but stealing the food from the mouths of small children is much harder to understand. The maliciousness that inspires the destruction of someone's childhood memories cannot even be explained by the desire for personal gain.

I hope you'll pardon me for my relapse here. I needed to unburden myself of this story for what I hope will be the last time. These, though, are the memories that flooded back as I heard today's first reading.

Then the choir began.
If today, if today you hear the voice of God, open up your heart and listen to his Word.
If today, if today you hear the voice of God, harden not your hearts, harden not your hearts.

And I knew. He wants us not to harden our hearts. He wants me not to harden my heart. Not just to Him, but to anyone. It is time to forgive, and to let go of the hurt and anger from all those years ago. I doubt I will ever see this person again in this world, and it is time to stop hoping not to see her in the next.

I have all I need, praise God. I have the love of an amazing man and an amazing family. What ingratitude to allow a loss ten years ago to make me think any less of this beautiful life God has given me.

Review of "Good Luck Chuck"

2007-09-23T11:07:00.000-07:00

Don't. Just don't.

When Did Will Smith Learn to Act?

2007-09-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

My kids and I just saw Pursuit of Happyness (yes, that's how it's spelled)the day before yesterday, and now Joel is halfway through it, with me rewatching it. I have to say I think it's one of the finest pieces of drama I've seen. Spoiler alert: I'm not going to tell you how it ends or anything, but there are some themes in it that I can't ignore.

Some of the themes that are very touchingly and honestly portrayed are single parenthood, work ethic, and homelessness. Having been a single parent, and having been homeless, I was truly impressed by how well both are expressed. Being married to a man with a very strong work ethic, I appreciated how positively the movie presented this never-say-die attitude.

Another thing that I thought the movie got across extremely well is the importance of mutual support in a marriage. When spouses stop acting like they are on the same time team, they can only survive if external forces cooperate, filling in the gaps in the couple's relationship. If external forces do not cooperate, there is no strength to draw upon. Where is a husband's strength but in his wife, and where is a wife's strength but in her husband?

The language is pretty clean, the morals are consistently good. There is one scene where the main character does something wrong and apologizes the whole time, because he has no alternative, but that's about as immoral as it gets. It is a heavy movie, though, and I'd exercise caution about showing it to anyone under, say, 10 or 11. And by the way, if you look at the credits you'll find that the boy who plays Will Smith's son in the movie is his son in real life; and boy, can this kid act! So, for that matter, can his dad. I never would have expected such depth from the Fresh Prince. I highly recommend the movie.