Can You Imagine?

Yesterday at Mass, our Communion song was "I can only imagine." Now, I have to admit that at times I've found this song less than inspiring as a liturgical offering. The word "I" is repeated so much, I sometimes find myself wondering who the song is about: Jesus, or me. Joel glanced at me as the song began, his face reflecting similar feelings.

As I walked toward the front of the Church, though, I found my thoughts and feelings suddenly changing. I started singing along with this song about what it might be like to meet Jesus in person. As we walked the short distance from pew to priest, I paid attention to the lyrics of the refrain:

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

As I reached the third place in line, I heard the words "Will I be able to speak at all?" and my voice cracked. Suddenly the reality flashed into my mind and heart: I am in Jesus' presence, right now! How can I ever forget that I am in the presence of divine glory when I am in the Presence of the Eucharist?

The song transformed itself, in that moment, from a speculation to a self-examination. How is it that I am able to look upon our Lord, come to us at every Mass, and not fall to my knees and lose my voice?

The only answer is that my faith, real as it is, is still yet far too small. So few humans have ever walked the earth with the tremendous faith it takes to be filled with total, consuming, glorious awe at the mere sight of the Holy Eucharist. Yet how very, very much our Lord deserves such faith and glory from us.

Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief.