Heard around the house

Hypertot: Daddy, Daddy! Curtain Climber's on the table!
Daddy: Ok, I'm coming.
Hypertot: No, it's not ok! Curtain Climber's on the table!

Ah, the little literalist.

Update on Curtain Climber

He's doing well, healing remarkably quickly. He doesn't act like he's in pain except occasionally. Thank you all for the prayers. I know that they have helped a LOT.

Prayers for Curtain Climber

Please pray for our Curtain Climber (aka Hot Stuff). He just spent the afternoon in the emergency room after grabbing a mug of hot cocoa and spilling it down his front. He's not in any danger, except for infection, but he has a lot of pain from second degree burns. He's currently sleeping through morphine, but he's going to have some suffering over the next few days. So please pray for him, that his pain won't be unbearable, and that he'll heal extra fast. This is no way for him to ring in his new year or approach his first birthday. Thanks.

Might I suggest a New Years resolution?

If you do nothing else for yourself, make a commitment to work toward getting out of debt. If you don't know how to do it on your own, I highly recommend Dave Ramsey's help. We're just getting started with The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness, and for the first time in years, we have a degree of financial hope. I can't tell you the value of peace of mind, but even better is knowing that it isn't misplaced. We've already made progress, and we only just started. I highly recommend it.

Marry Well!

Today marks the sixth anniversary of the smartest thing I've ever done. I hope you'll bear with me for a moment while I pat myself on the back. I married one of the kindest, smartest, funnest, manliest, and most fertile men I have ever met. And despite three well-rehearsed "You! You did this to me!"s, I have never, even for a two-second pause, regretted it.

So in the spirit of annual tradition, I would like to share a few words about how to marry well.

Choosing a partner:

• Don't expect change. A husband or wife might change over time, but you can't expect it or force it. Don't marry anyone who isn't just what you want to be married to right now. A boyfriend or girlfriend who manipulates you is not suddenly going to become honest after the wedding date is chosen. A fiance who belittles you is not going to miraculously discover what a gem you are after rings are exchanged. Your loved one will have faults, yes. But you have to ask yourself if these are faults you are willing to live with for the rest of your life.
• Don't approach marriage thinking "if it doesn't work out, we can always get divorced." People who think of divorce as an option are not likely to try very hard to make things work.
• Don't marry someone who doesn't think you are the best thing that has ever happened to him or her. You deserve to be appreciated, and not just loved but cherished.
• Do communicate. If at all possible, take a marriage prep class, or attend an engagement retreat like Engaged Encounter, or go for premarital couples counseling. There will be areas where you think or assume that you are on the same page and it turns out that you are not. Most of these are minor hurdles that can be worked out with just a little bit of communication; but if it turns out that one of them is a deal breaker for one or the other of you, better that you should find out now, not after you've established a life, started a joint checking account, and bought a car together.
• Do make decisions together about finances and children. Before you marry. Even if your decision is not to decide yet, make sure you both agree on it.

Keeping a spouse:
I like to tell my sons that the best way to have a happy marriage is to treat their wives the way my husband treats me. For the benefit of those who don't know my Charming and Patient Husband, I will elaborate a bit here.

• Accept your spouse. That doesn't merely mean pretend to tolerate. Really accept him or her for what he or she is. There is nothing in the world that will help a person blossom into the best they can be better than genuine, unconditional acceptance. It heals past hurts, it raises future hopes, and it makes life a lot smoother.
• Appreciate your spouse. Don't merely overlook faults. Look, actively look, at qualities. And then express your appreciation verbally. Let him know that you are grateful for his hard work. Let her know how her smile warms you on a bad day.
• Never let the kids get between you. Your kids will one day grow up and move out; hopefully your spouse will not. Don't fight in front of the kids. Don't contradict them publicly about child rearing. There will be times you disagree about how to handle something, but discussion should always be respectful of the other person, and private. The kids do not need to see places where they can drive wedges to get what they want. Nor do they need the insecurity of wondering if they will have both of you in their lives in the future.
• Be the best person you know how to be, even in the areas of your life that don't affect your spouse. It inspires admiration. Don't just be generous with your spouse; also be generous with others. Smile warmly at the whole world, not just the person you love. It affects your entire outlook for the better, and it really can help your spouse to want to be a better person, too. I know that when I see my husband being kind to strangers, it reminds me to be kinder. When I see him being generous, it makes me feel proud of him. Don't deprive your love of the opportunity to be proud of you.
• Don't be afraid to be weak. Yes, keep on trying; but don't think that means you have to hide your weakness and vulnerability. That's what a life partner is for! This is the one person who will back you up when your backbone doesn't feel very strong. Let your spouse know how much it means to you that he or she helps you through your moments of weakness.
• Most of all, remember that love is not just a noun, it is also a verb. It isn't just a "thing" that you feel, it's an action that you do. And like every other action, it requires that you make a decision of the will. You are not a victim of love, you are an active participant. Keep on loving. Decide each and every day to give of yourself. Remember each and every day how much you love this person.

I pray that you will experience the kind of joy that I have in love.

Carmelite Final Promises

You may have noticed I've been more absent than usual recently. I'm trying, in addition to holiday cleaning, to prepare spiritually for OCDS Final Promises. For those who don't know, OCDS refers to the Secular branch of the Order of Carmelites, Discalced. A secular, sometimes referred to as "Third Order," is a member of a religious order who is not a nun, friar, monk, sister, or brother. In other words, we are attached to our order by prayer, spirituality, study, work, and charism.

The Discalced branch of the Carmelites was founded by St. Teresa of Avila, with the help of St. John of the Cross, in response to a need for reform in the then lax attitude toward the Rule of Life of Carmelites. In a time of great religious upheaval, Teresa found herself heading a convent where benefits and privileges were granted based on family wealth and favoritism, and where the rules were practically ignored. One of the rules that she reinstituted was the traditional habit, which included sandals, not shoes. Her reform was originally known by many popular names, but the name "discalced," meaning shoeless, was the one that stuck. St. John headed the male reform, at St. Teresa's request.

Today, the original Carmelite order (OC) and the Discalced Carmelites (OCD) make up separate orders with separate lines of authority and slightly differing spirituality, but they share a history and charism, as well as maintaining mutual "authority" over the Brown Scapular. The Brown Scapular, the symbol of both Orders, represents a smaller version of the brown habit of Carmelites. Both Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross have been named Doctors of the Church, and recently so was St. Therese of Lisieux, another Carmelite saint.

My name in Carmel is Mary of the Feet of Jesus. Please pray for me as I prepare to make my promises permanent on Saturday.

Permanent Marker on Computer Monitor

What do you do when you realize that a Monkeytot has written on your LCD (or other kind of) screen with permanent marker? You ask Artgal. And Artgal promptly tells you to use a dry erase marker to clean it. And it works.

One caution: use Heloise's advice, and wipe into the mark, not out from. If you wipe across your mark, it will smudge the dry erase ink and need more cleaning.

Happy Birthday, Joel

My Charming and Patient Husband is now the same age as me for a few brief months. Why not head over and wish him a happy birthday?

Note to Monkeytot

Remember when I said you couldn't put a bandage in your nose? I'm sorry, but you can't put one in your mouth, either. It just won't work.

Note to Monkeytot

No, you can't put a bandage in your nose, even if it is bleeding.

Heard around the house

Artgal: "I hate it when I get cinnamon down my shirt."
me: "Yeah, I always hate getting cinnamon down my shirt."
Covarr: "Is this the voice of experience, or is this Instructables again?"

Note to Monkeytot

While I appreciate your generosity with the baby, I wish you would stop feeding him. Snickers bars and horseradish stroganoff are really not ideal baby foods.

Whiteboard Idea

I get these bees in my bonnet. When we're lucky, they're inexpensive or they pass. Today, it's a moneysaving idea, and I'm looking forward to implementing it as soon as I get a chance to get out of the house. It's a personal whiteboard for each kid old enough to read.

If you homeschool, you probably do whiteboards, too. Or if you have a big family, with kids who keep different schedules. Or if you're looking for the perfect housekeeping "method" or chore chart. Today's idea is simple. I go to Dollar Tree and buy some inexpensive frames that are hangable. If they don't have hangable ones, I'll buy a picture hanging kit there, too. We're looking at maybe three bucks. I slip a thick piece of white paper or card stock into each one, and I hang them. Instapresto, white boards. They won't stain like the ever popular tileboard (the stuff they make shower walls from) or those shiny cardboard signs. They can be washed, and it won't ruin them. And they already come with a frame and ready to hang. One for each person, so I can write down chores when I think of them, or take phone notes, or whatever is needed. And they'll be a whole lot more attractive than most commercial whiteboards that cost more. Dollar Tree usually has whiteboard markers, too.

Feel free to copy the idea or pass it on.

Note to Monkeytot

I don't think you'll have much success slicing the cheddar cheese with a plastic wrench. Sorry. And no, you may not grab a sharp knife to do it with instead. And NO, the hunk is not for biting directly into.

Update on Oldest Daughter

I'm sorry I didn't update sooner, but I figured those who really wanted to know either had already been informed (family) or had read the news on the blog of my Charming and Patient Husband. But for anyone who may have been missed by these two methods, I wanted to let you know that Firstborn Grandchild was born mid-afternoon and in good health, by emergency c-section. We haven't been able to see them yet, but they are in our prayers and hearts, and we can't wait to meet him.

Thank you to all who prayed or sent good wishes, and may God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Baby abundantly with joy, good fortune, and the meeting of every need.

Prayers and news

Just a quick prayer request for Oldest Daughter. Tomorrow she's having labor induced. Please pray that everything goes well, and that it's not too difficult. They're also moving household, so please pray that the baby's dad is able to be there when she gives birth.

Note to Chase:

You say "I'll call back when you're in a better mood."
I say if you call 51 times in a single day, I guarantee I will not ever be in a better mood.

Note to readers:
If you are smart, don't ever, ever, ever get a Chase credit card.

Note to Hypertot

That's not a wrist brace. No, no, don't put it back in the bathroom cupboard where you found it; just go ahead and throw it away.

Simple Woman Daybook

For August 15, 2008

I've seen these several places, and decided to look into it. Here's where it began, and I rather like the idea. Please feel free, readers, to join in.



Outside My Window...
A riot of pumpkin plants. I didn't actually plant them, but they grew from compost; now we have most of our front lawn covered with pumpkin plant and pumpkins. The biggest is the size of a small watermelon already. I can't wait to see what our front yard will look like by October!

I am thinking...
about family members not here. I miss our oldest, and I am praying that she has a lot of joy and hope in her life.

I am thankful for...
That my mom and sister were able to come for Peter's baptism this weekend. Even if it was only, really, for a day. One day is better than no days.

From the kitchen...
Today my Charming and Patient Husband is cooking... taco salad. My latest kitchen feat was chicken and dumplings. I just learned to make them this month, and they've been a big hit.

I am wearing...
blue athletic/stretch shorts and a short sleeved shirt with a busy brown and green flower design. No shoes, hair tied back. Still too hot.

I am creating...
Laundry soap. Ok, not the most creative thing in the world, but it makes me feel empowered to be able to make something practical and useful for myself at a savings. Plus, it has little pink flecks and smells like lemons.

I am going...
to the fair tomorrow. It's the last day, and we weren't able to go last year. There is something about a small town county fair that makes you feel so connected to the community. And every year I swear to myself that next year I'll make Grandpa's Boterkoek for the ethnic foods category.

I am reading...
From Housewife to Heretic by Sonia Johnson. It's about a Mormon woman who was excommunicated for feminist activities in the 70's. She's a very good writer, and although I disagree with much of what she says, the presents herself so well that I am coming at least to understand better the "other side" of views that I disagree with.

I am hoping...
to get the house clean. Maybe it's more of a wish than a hope. Maybe it's science fiction. I'm not sure. But I would love, love, love, not to have to worry about what Peter might pick up and put in his mouth.

I am hearing...
My first semi-silence for most of the day. The kids moved my daughter's stereo into the family room to listen to MP3s through real speakers. Loudly. Mostly it's video game remixes, from Mario and Zelda games, at the moment. But I'm in my room and can't hear much beyond muted voices through the wall, and the computer fan.

Around the house...
there's a sense of lethargy that seems to accompany hot summer days. Our air conditioning has its limits, and with this many people in one house it does get rather humid. So the activity gradually slows down, until morning brings cool breezes through windows.

One of my favorite things...
Raindrops on roses, ... oops. I mean, quality musicals. I do love The Sound of Music. Also, Brigadoon, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I'm sure I'm leaving out a few.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
I haven't done much planning for next week, but with the summer running out I really think we should try to make it to the pool at least one more time. Or maybe I could get the nerve to go there alone and swim some laps. I'm sure the week will include trying to tackle the mountain of laundry waiting to be put away, and I should get in some lesson planning, with school coming back so soon.

Occam's Razor Meets iTunes

I've had these ridiculous intermittent problems trying to burn CDs from iTunes. I had entirely different issues with other software, so I really wanted to get iTunes working correctly; but every time I tried to burn a CD, I got this message:

The attempt to burn a disc failed. An unknown error occurred (4280)

I went a long time without bothering to try to burn a CD, because it got so frustrating; but finally, my desire for a longer playlist overrode my frustration, and I sat down determined to find the problem and make every possible effort to fix it. After more attempts in the past than I can remember, I practically stumbled over what appears to be the solution.

I went to the help menu and choose diagnostics. From there, I chose CD diagnostics. I ran it, and read the resulting text. One little thing caught my eye: it only listed four burn speeds that my burner is set to burn. I've heard of trying to burn too fast, but evidently I was trying to burn too slow (in an attempt to get a burn that my boombox could read). I found the lowest speed that my burner can burn that iTunes also has a setting for, and selected that speed. Now everything is working.

Sometimes the simplest solution really is the best one.